Listening

Hi @Sd26226

I'm not a parent. But I think modern standards placed upon parents can be harsh. Nobody is perfect

Hi @Sd26226

Welcome to the Forums! I'm really glad you shared this. There's a lot of honesty you've written here and you aren't alone.

It sounds to me like you really deeply care about your daughter and about getting this right. The fact that you're reflecting and listening and wanting to change says a lot of positives about you as a parent. You don't sound like a "terrible mum" at all - you sound like someone who wants to do better and is struggling right now.

In addition to being a valued new member of the Forums, you may find it helpful to contact Parentline - they offer free, confidential support around parenting challenges and communication, and are a great service for navigating tricky conversations and dynamics.

Early twenties can be a tricky time, and your daughter is lucky to have you💓

~ @Honeymoon

@Sd26226 welcome to this forum filled with wonderful non-judgmental, caring and supportive people. Hopefully you can connect with a mum or two who has had similar issues and found a way to solve the issue.

But as said previously, it doesn't sound like you are a bad mum at all. I am sure over the years you have done your best for your daughter with what you had or were going through at the time. We cannot punish ourselves if these times were not perfect. You did your best with what you had and that is to be commended.

I have plenty of things that I regretted while raising my daughter, and I still do. But I just remember i gave her my best that I could at the time and that is all I could have asked for. So please forgive yourself, and realise that what you are after has nothing but your daughter's best interests at heart. And that's what makes a great caring and supportive mother.

Hearing you and sitting with you @Sd26226

I can totally relate to what's been happening for you. I find I also do it.

I seem to ask questions without the intent of listening and that's my problem.

What's good is that I can see you are very reflective. You know what the challenge is which means you can work on it to improve.

I wonder if you can reach out to your daughter and ask, "Do you feel I talk too much and I don't give you time to talk?"

Sometimes, what we percieve can be quite different to the other side.

Do you feel you use your daughter to help you with your own needs? Is that what you mean by needing to talk to someone and not a counselling once a month?

Hi DogMan79

Thank you for reminding me of this, it helped a lot.

Honeymoon

Thank you for your kind words and seeing things from another perspective is very helpful.

Hi tyme

Thank you for taking time to answer and your supportive comments.

Good communication in relationships for many people can be difficult but well worth the effort. Why l will continue to work on it with my daughter.

I just need to have more people to talk to so l don't talk too much with my daughter. (hoping then l can listen to her better).

I