My Psychiatrist has had his license suspended

Feeling yer pain @KirSa_EnigmA im sorry this has happened. It’s real hard to develop trust in the people we become vulnerable to.
it’s just wild to think that people held in such a high level of trust and regard, could go and do terrible things.
I share a similar experience, in that my old gp is now currently serving a life sentence for murd3r.

Wow @Bow that's wild!

I really didn't even think to double check the background on this guy. I certainly didn't feel like I needed to... you know, being a doctor, I guess?

I suppose I'd better go looking for another one. I can see why people are sometimes accused of "doctor shopping" when there are so many variables in who provides treatment. Some are genuinely not a good fit. Some are predators! And sometimes people are genuinely just looking for someone who will agree with them (there are pushovers out there too).

I wonder what my gp will say. She's so pedantic about regulations too.

I wonder, do his current recommendations remain valid? How do I deal with that? Should I really be taking this medication or trusting his diagnosis?

A second (third!) opinion is needed. Crikey... what a ride.

Exactly @KirSa_EnigmA we should be able to trust the bodies that train, register and insure people like these. And we should be able to trust professionals who are in the field of caring for people todo the right thing.

it is tricky to know what to do I guess. Speaking with your gp would be a good start and yeah finding a new psychiatrist and having your meds review.

@Bow Yep, the meds review was the reason for getting back in touch anyway... It's not urgent though. But it'd be good to get confirmation on a few things.

I have a psychiatrist who's investigating other areas... ASD and C-PTSD and god knows what else... I did 10 back to back assessments online for her last week. fun times!

@KirSa_EnigmA @Bow years ago the psychiatrist I was seeing was suspended then later banned. Since then I've questioned the treatment he gave me, and a couple of referrals he'd given me to people I personally found unsavoury. Although I hadn't experienced the behaviour he was struck off for

How have you been since the change of diagnosis @KirSa_EnigmA ? I imagine a common ADHD med would most likely be contraindicated for BP1 as it might trigger mania.

@Dimity Honestly, I question everything.

You point out the obvious contradiction between the 2 diagnoses. Bipolar and ADHD are an uncommon pair. However, I actually think I could qualify for both.

Yes, stimulants can trigger a manic episode, but not all Bipolars are the same. A quick google finds:

Bipolar 1.
Bipolar 2.
Cyclothymia.
Rapid cycling bipolar.
Bipolar with mixed features.
Bipolar with seasonal pattern.
Unspecified bipolar.

My original diagnosis (Bipolar 1) seems unlikely, due to the risk of mania if stims are taken for ADHD - I have not had any severe manic episodes since taking them.

But it doesn't preclude the others.

So... throw in some c-ptsd, autistic traits, survivor's guilt, anxiety, depression (yes, cyclic, it seems), and about 30 years of drug addiction and all the traumatic shiz that is associate with that... yeah.

I don't trust anyone to be able to tease this apart. (So, add a bunch of pressure for me to solve it all myself, and here we are)

The best answers and understandings I've come to have been self discovered. [Moderator Edit].

There are many ways for this clump of 36 trillion cells to make a living. I'm just adapting to survive.

So... I guess that's how I am 🙂

Diagnoses seem nebulous at times @KirSa_EnigmA . Probabilities (possibilities?) based on patterns of "symptoms"

It's good if you're finding meds and therapies that work for you, whatever the rationale.

I had one class of antidepressant make me manic and two classes that didn't seem to help even at 3 times the usual dose of one particular med. These days my psychiatrist says he'll put me on a particular mood stabiliser if I need it but I've held off.

Hi @Dimity

I read recently: "Diagnoses are useful labels for models that we have developed to understand human conditions. We can use those models to prognosticate and as a basis to test treatment. We can even give people a sense of belonging by using them for social support. Significantly, we use them as a basis for reimbursement. They make money flow. But they are models, they're evolving concepts, and they're not real. Diagnoses are not entities. They are not people."

In this reference, the author prefers not to use phrases like (and I use autism as the example here): someone "has autism" or they're "autist-ic". Not diabetic, lucemic, etc either.

He says: "How is referring to a person by the diagnostic model we give them any better than objectifying them by race or gender or religion?"

He prefers the phrase: "A young man who met the criteria for autism".

"It's interesting how our relationship to statistics changes when we become one."

These are excerpts from an interview with Laurence I. Sugerman - Director of the Centre for Applied Psychophysiology and Self-regulation.

Your experience with the various meds reflects this "basis to test treatment" environment.

And while I much prefer this nomenclature over the static and unchanging labels we seem to grasp hold of and hold so tightly... I do quite frankly resent being treated like a guinea pig.

Becoming a self advocate seems so necessary - even though the field seems to have matured so much. It's just... how does someone who's se deeply challenged by these symptoms find the wherewithall to deal with it enough to search for their own answers too?

Some days are just a write off. I had nightmares last night while left me on the edge of tears all day, lacking sleep, and guilty for the disruption and worry I caused, and the responsibilities I missed.

I wake this morning feeling right as rain.

Is my search for a solution causing me more symptoms? Is feeling like I need to be rescued from this downward spiral, and the consequential kick in the guts I feel from needing to ask, a stalemate?

I just put my head down and carry on while time slips by and I wait for the end I suppose.

I feel so alone. Everyone lives their lives while I sit idly by. I don't fit in anywhere. I'm awkward. Truncated. Embarrassed. Ashamed. And frankly... bored with it all.

/rant

But yeah... I'm fine! ha!

@KirSa_EnigmA I read this several times and still don't know how to answer to do it justice.

But yes. I agree. And feel much the same way.

You mentioned Sugerman. I might look into him.

At present I'm trying some lectio. Dipping into a poetry anthology daily (or that's the goal). I'm at a loss. Perhaps on a downward spiral, or perhaps pulling myself out. Tonight I might look for a short reflection on Plum Village.

Look after yourself.

I apologise @Dimity

It was not my intent to unload my burdens and direct them at you. Please... you have no responsibility to answer my open-question style musings. I'm writing more to get it clear and out of my head than to converse, I suppose. But I do very much value your reply as it is validation that there is actually someone listening.

You also, look after yourself 🙂