I think i just flipped it!!!

Thanks @Former-Member sleep well 💖💖💖

Not sure if this will be any helpful but from reading this @Former-Member you seem really go go go go. You seem like you have grand plans and a go get it attitude.

What I've noticed with myself when I'm down but still trying to fight there is zero chance of me doing anything calming and slowing down. Breathing and showers do nothing for me but send me into panic attacks because I'm going from survival zone to calm zone to quick and it's unhealthy for me to quickly switch.

What I do is embrace this fighting determination energy that is great but horrible when you have deppresion and try to use it for good. I will cook, clean, make new outfits with my clothing, colour my hair, cook again, research dream holidays, design my dream house, YouTube makeup tutorials and thing to keep my brain busy but in a positive mind set and then I start to notice after a while it calms me down and I start to slowly breath because I've been filling myself up with positive things.

I thought it might me a strategy you might like to try if I'm at all right.

Wish you the best.

Great stuff @Former-Member! The more supportive support the better!

I think what @Former-Member is saying (and I could be way off and please correct me if I am), is a bit like what lj and I had touched on earlier too. That sometimes big feelings, like anxiety and panic, ask to be listened to rather than silenced. That maybe sometimes relaxation and calm down strategies can be counterproductive. I can relate to this as sometimes it is as if my body is screaming to use the energy that has built to an explosive level inside. In these moments, no amount of breathing deeply will help and it can make me even more agitated. It was a big issue for me a little while ago. As I am limited in how much I can get out or be loud (with little people) I found organising, cleaning (like scrubbing something totally clean) etc. much more helpful. Just an idea though and I think it's a matter of trying to listen to your body as well as your mind and work out what is needed in a particular moment.

That's a really common and normal thing (feeling like you don't know what your body needs). The way I see it is that it's really hard to know what you need because the situation and circumstances you're working through aren't something 'normal' (can't stand that word but I hope I'm getting my point across the way I mean it). With time, practice, patience, self-compassion etc. I think you'll find it easier to know what your body needs.

Yes @Former-Member you summed it up exactly right. It's like your body needes to use this energy and trying to silence it just doesn't work. After a while you get use to if you anxiety can be calmed down my relaxing or a long drive along the beach or if you need to assorbe it and work if it positive till it runs is course.

@Former-Member yep try use it constructively or for fun. Like I spend hours googling my new shoes in dream land going to buy. I plan holidays that cost $50,000 plus I never will ever do. I pick a topic on something I want to learn and study it non stop. I got so much information in my head on the most weird facts. I just do what ever feels good to me. I find after a few nights of doing these things they really comfort me and I start breathing and I start to fall asleep doing them. Then when I feel back to myself I can cary on to day to day things.