OCD and Eating disorder

I've been struggling with an eating disorder and OCD for years now. I'm in recovery and getting better though. Within this time I have also struggled in the online space. For three days I have spent hours looking up eating disorder content, on social media and reddit. I am supposed to be getting a university assignment done but instead I have done this. I've struggled with this situation for years. It feels like the thoughts will never stop. I feel sad, guilty, invalidated and embarrassed. I'm scared that I'm faking my eating disorder and it's just influenced by online content. I've mentioned this to my psychologist multiple times but nothing seems to improve. I'm scared that I've just put myself into this space and I'm not really sick. I'm scared that my emotions are slowly becoming numb towards everything. The thoughts of my eating disorder these days are mainly focused on identity and analysing my thoughts, not actually food. I don't know what to do anymore about this. I'm also scared about posting this. I'm also worried that this issue is stupid compared to other things like actual issues about food.

Thankyou.