Dementia & Grief

Hey @pineapple0000 welcome to the space! Glad you are reaching out to connect, cos it sounds like things are really heavy for you right now.

I think it's absolutely normal to be feeling grief, even though he hasn't passed. I get the same feelings about my dad, he's got late-stage parkinson's and it's such a bizarre experience to feel such a sense of loss, even when he's sitting right in front of me. Grief is a complex one, and differs from person to person... you can be missing the person they were before the illness, and feel like you've already lost them... but then still have to show up to support them, which can bring up some very mixed feelings. Totally okay to not really know how to feel, or to have feelings that seem to conflict.

Do you have some support around you, be it from loved ones or from professionals? We're here for you 💜

Thanks for your reply @Jynx!

Yes I am feeling like I have lost the person he was previously and it makes me really upset. It is a really strange feeling, when they are still around. I’m just so confused!

I have NDIS support around me, psychology and art therapy. I am very well supported.

Welcome to the forums @pineapple0000

We are so glad to have you with us. I'm sorry to hear the grief you are experiencing at the moment. I can see that meant a lot to you. I hear it's not easy at all.

There are certainly other members who are going through a similar journey and may be able to share their experieces.

I'll tag in @Snowie @Shaz51 @Oaktree @Chasingsunsets who you can say hello to.

You are not alone. We are here to support you.

@pineapple0000 Yeah it is so confusing hey! Can be a bit of a merry-go-round of feelings, like sometimes I'm hit with the grief, which is followed by guilt for feeling the grief, followed by gratitude for still having him around, then swinging right back to grief again...

Glad to hear you've got plenty of support around you. And don't hesitate to connect in with the folks over at Griefline for some extra support along the way 💜

Hugs @Jynx , sitting with you and hugs for your dad

@tyme

Hello and hugs @pineapple0000

Sending you lots of understanding hugs

With me it started when the doctors said that my mum could not stay at her house anymore and had to moved to the hospital, she didn't have dementia but she was wasting away

I visited her every second day for years until her passing

Click on to this thread called Coping Toolbox ( what is in yours to help you cope )

I went through lots of different emotions

And when visiting her I would do her nails , hair , play word games with her , take her for walks in the wheelchair

We are here for you

Thank you for the hugs @Shaz51 I send some very squishy ones right back at you 💜

⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

Hi there @pineapple0000, sorry about your grandfather, dementia is awful isn’t it. Watching your loved ones act so differently is heartbreaking hey.
My grandfather had dementia, he’s passed away now.

You aren’t alone in these feelings 💙, sending hugs to you @Jynx @Shaz51 @tyme

Hi @pineapple0000

Firstly, welcome to the forums. I hope you find what you are looking for here.

I can completely understand what you are going through.

My mum has dementia and went into a care home about 3 months ago. Up until then she was living with me and my family.

The feelings of grief are perfectly normal. I have them too. I have already started grieving for her.

I grieve for all the things she cannot do, I grieve for the memories she has lost, I grieve just for the everyday things she struggles with. With each deterioration for her, I find it very difficult to cope with. And it's so hard. Whilst you can talk to others who have gone through this or are going through this, each person's journey unique. They deteriorate in different ways. I am finding it to feel like a marathon.

I’m struggling too with what this terrible disease is taking for her and from us.

She has changed so much and is not the person I know she was for the last 45 years of my life.

If you haven't already I suggest you get in contact with Home | Dementia Australia

I have found them to be really helpful. They have lots of information on dementia and the different stages. There is a dementia helpline 1800 100 500 that I have contacted many times, mostly when I was really upset and not coping well. They listen and also can help you with different resources/help that might help your own family. They also offer free counselling for family members. I would highly encourage you to contact them.

I hope this helps and you realise you are not alone. What you are experiencing is very normal.

I am happy to answer any more questions you have if needed, am only a tag away.

Please take care of you first.

Just like to send some reassurance that your grandfather is in a safe place right now with 24 hr support and care. It is not easy right now for you going through the sudden change, hopefully with time it will get better. Pay him a visit when you can. He will be glad to see you. Maybe bring some photos to show him?

Welcome to the forums @Gumtreez . Thank you for sharing. Bringing photos is an awesome idea!

@pineapple0000 , what do you think?

Hope both of you are okay.

Thinking of you both.