Neurofeedback

Hi @CherryBomb @utopia@lisajane@Shaz51@Zoe7@scared01@Appleblossom @Tookyspookims @Faith-and-Hope @TAWNEY @Lunar @NikNik @lisajane @Kurra @CheerBear@Former-Member

I had my neurofeedback session yesterday. I'm feeling a bit scared now. I felt great after the session and into last night, but I woke up this morning feeling awful. Right now I wish I was a lab rat (lab turtle?) in a nice controlled environment so that I could know what (if any) effect the neurofeedback is having without such effects being confounded by...well...life.

This week I did two "games" with my eyes shut. This meant I was listening to music and when my brain wasn't doing as it should, the music slowed down and got all static-y. Then we did the same two games as last week. Apparently my brain works much better when I have my eyes closed...not entirely useful in the real world! We talked about how what was showing up in the session reflected how I super struggle with sensory overload. Ideally, we will be able to build up my tolerance to that sensory stuff, but realistically, that would probably take a lot more sessions than the 18 that ATAPS will fund. So...if someone can come up with a career path for me with super low sensory stimulation, that would be awesome.

im sorry your feeling scared now @Phoenix_Rising

youve only had 3 sessions now isnt it..? and look how much youve discovered about your brain so far. and how much more youll be able to learn and also how to control it. 14 sessions is still a fair bit away so hopefully youll continue to see progress in the following session.

i hope you keep at it, if not sitting with you anyway. supporting your decision with whatever you decide

@utopia I was feeling scared this morning because I felt so icky. I feel better now. I hate how hard it is to know if something is working or not, because the effect is always confounded by life. I think a lot of my icky feelings at the moment are due to the challenges my psychologist and I are having learning to communicate with each other. Ideally I would have waited until this relationship was much more solid before embarking on the neurofeedback but I am getting pretty desperate for SOMETHING to help me with my big feelings. Thus, over the coming few months, it is really going to be impossible to tell how much the neurofeedback is helping vs how much getting a stable safe therapeutic relationship established is helping. Super frustrating!

Hi @CherryBomb @utopia@lisajane@Shaz51@Zoe7@scared01@Appleblossom @Tookyspookims @Faith-and-Hope @Lunar @NikNik @lisajane @Kurra @CheerBear@suzanne @Former-Member

I had my neurofeedback session yesterday. I actually think I am starting to see an effect. I am feeling much calmer overall, than I was a few weeks ago. When I get triggered, the big feelings are as big as they've always been, but when life is just plodding along, I definitely feel different. The problem is, this isn't exactly a controlled experiment. There are a bazillion other things that could explain my current calmness; my improved relationship with my psychologist, the substantial improvement in a situation that has been an ongoing stressor since December, the time of the month, the alignment of the planets... However, I really do think it is at least partially attributable to the neurofeedback.

I was telling the guy yesterday that I didn't want to take too softly-softly an approach - I want to go hard enough to ensure I see a result in the 18 sessions. He thinks we are doing that. However, he isn't open to playing with the bit of the brain (occipital lobe) that he thinks the previous guy played with, which triggered the dreams I had. Those dreams really had a profound effect on me and they are the reason I know there is definitely something to this neurofeedback thing. I told him that perhaps if we focus on the attention/concentration stuff this year, maybe I can get another 18 sessions next year and we might look more specifically at addressing the trauma stuff then.

Anyway, yesterday I played the same games and he increased the difficulty level quite quickly such that I spent a lot more time at that difficult level. Apparently my brain went fleetingly into the "normal" range for what we are targeting but I couldn't sustain it. However, the fact that I can get into the normal range indicates that with more practice, I should be able to train my brain to stay in that range more consistently. I noticed that the psychologist didn't actually use the word "normal" - he said "the range that people without difficulties would be in."

That's about all I have to report. Thank you for taking an interest.