need help

Hey @pinklollipop15 that sounds really heavy. Anyone carrying bipolar depression, cerebral palsy, money stress, parenting guilt, and a stalled business would feel worn down. Nothing you wrote sounds weak or “wrong”—it sounds like a mind that cares deeply about meaning, autonomy, and your kids, bumping up against a system that doesn’t fit you very well.

From what you wrote, it sounds like your values are actually very clear, being present with your kids, autonomy and not being crushed by meaningless work, and using your intelligence and intuition. Values is something that resonates with me, so that is where my own mind is at reading your post. So I wonder instead of asking "What job should I do?” asks yourself “What kind of parent / human do I want to be in this moment?”. Then maybe figuring out “What is one tiny, doable, non-exhausting action that moves me 1 cm in that direction?”

Hi @TeaPositive

I just wanted to jump in with a few words of support, like @pinklollipop15 has already done, which is lovely.

I wanted to say that I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling the way that you are right now, but I am so glad that you have reached out here. It sounds like you're carrying a tremendous amount on your own. Please remember that your value isn't tied to your weekly Uber earnings - you are a scholar, an entrepreneur, and a dedicated parent.

It sounds like you're in a survival mode loop right now, which is a really hard place to be creative from, speaking from my own experience. It is easier said than done, but try not to let the depression convince you that the Uber Eats phase is your forever. You've built a business from scratch before, and that's no small feat. I'd love to hear more about your vision for the shop when you have the energy. Hang in there - the world needs more of those intelligent minds that question everything.

Hey @pinklollipop15 ,

I'm so sorry to hear this. It sounds exhausting! I'm sorry to hear you don't have the supports around you that you need for your child/ren. I hear you want to be the mum that is around for their son, and at the same time, they need to have a roof over their heads.

When you are not working, is there something you really enjoy doing with your son that you can cherish and thrive on?

Hi @pinklollipop15 . Hi @tyme @MatchaToad @TeaPositive .

@pinklollipop15 I just want to commend you for doing such a great job with being a parent to your son and working despite being in a period of depression with your bipolar illness. Well done! As someone who has experienced depression, I have learnt that it’s usually caused by me losing my sense of purpose or direction in life or my identity and becoming bored and stagnant in what’s happening at the present time. This happened to me 5 years ago and it was only when I realised that I love education and studying that I was able to get out of my depression and feel like a person once again. I did a course in leisure and health and realised that I dislike aged care but like helping people and mental health so that’s why I’ve now gone on to study social work at uni this year.

You are a smart person with a phd and I admire and respect this achievement. Is there a possibility of using this to gain employment in the area you studied? Maybe at a uni or Tafe as a tutor and work around school hours for your child? What things used to give you joy and make you feel happy and good about yourself? Was it being creative and doing art:craft? Was it playing games or exploring new places with your child or family? Maybe seeing movies or going out to shows/ events/sports?

As for your business, could you look at maybe getting a business mentor to help you with your business issues and offer you some support or guidance? Maybe link in with a community group or government agency that could help and support you.

Take care.

Judi9877

Hi @Judi9877

Thanks for your kind words. I actually found a job today related to my phd and applied. They're so rare. So will see how I go.

I am joining a business mentoring program and will continue to grow my business.

Thanks.

Amazing @pinklollipop15 !

Look up my dear. You deserve this! You are so brave that despite your challenges, you've been able to rise above it.

Well done to you.

What is something kind you can do for yourself this weekend?

Hi @tyme ive decided to stop breastfeeding cause he keeps biting me and I scream out in pain. It's enough.

Fair enough. Do you feel okay about this decision or is it something you want to talk about @pinklollipop15 ?

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@pinklollipop15 wrote:

Hi @tyme ive decided to stop breastfeeding cause he keeps biting me and I scream out in pain. It's enough.

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Hi @pinklollipop15 this is the exact time that I stopped breast feeding and changed over to the bottle. And my daughter had no issues because of it.

Welcome to the forum. The members here are awesome and very supportive.

Hi @tyme @Mustang67 @Judi9877 I'm still breastfeedinig just was extremely fatigued. I'm ok I am focusing on my uber and study starts next week so I will just go along. Last week I just flipped out. But I am ok.

Thanks.