Reliving trauma during treatment

Hey @Whaledone1234

Addressing trauma with supports - even ones we have a good therapeutic connection with - can be tough! It sounds like this is something that you feel might be helpful for you but it feels like you are unable to or find it really difficult to share more with them at the moment. Being open and vulnerable can be really uncomfortable and confronting and you are definitely not alone in finding this hard to do.

Since it sounds like this is something you have talked about with your psychologist, perhaps its would be helpful to try and address the subject from one step back? As in - letting them know that you recognise from what they have said that this could be helpful and that you have found sharing with them helpful in the past, but there is something there for you that is making this step really difficult. Hopefully they will be able to talk with you about the feeling of finding it difficult to try and create some space or comfort around that for you.

Engaging with supports even when its difficult takes courage, so you are doing really well to continue sharing. You are definitely not ungrateful or wasting anyone's time, you deserve to be supported. Take care!

Hi @Whaledone1234

just wanted to say that you are not alone in your feelings and experiences. Addressing trauma is really rough and it sucks a lot. I’m not sure what kind of therapy you have tried but there are a few different ones that people find helpful. And I can definitely relate to just not wanting to do or just being unable to do it cause it’s too hard and the guilt and frustration that comes with that.
not sure if you’ve had this conversation with your psychologist and worked out ways that they can help you feel more safe in your sessions in the hope that you can slowly start sharing more.

Hey @Whaledone1234 , like others have said - totally not alone in this experience.

I wonder if this thread may be of interest to you, if you havent already seen it:

Different therapy approaches for trauma

Basically it was started becuase another member has also been finding it too hard to do talk-based trauma therapy 😊. Other ideas include EMDR, but a range of different things have been discussed there too 🥰. May also be encouraging to read if you resonate with the experience of finding it hard to talk about trauma even with your psych..knowing "its not just you" and that yep trauma can be so hard and painful to talk about because it is traumatic by nature. Its not your fault!

Sending care and safe hugs if wanted.

I think you’re showing a lot of courage in reflecting on how much you feel safe to share in therapy, let alone go to therapy at all!

I’m so sorry that you’re feeling some guilt about not sharing all of your trauma. I wonder if it’s actually the trauma contributing to this guilt.

It sounds like you are working very hard to make changes. Recovery isn’t linear and I think it’s beautiful that you are acknowledging that you are not ready to discuss your trauma.

There is also some onus on the actual therapist, to devleop the conditions and the rapport where the client does feel safe enough and supported to actually open up. It would take time for that to happen for many people who have experienced trauma. It should not be a demand, but a natural opening and sharing as part of a good broad therapeutic relationship. I feel I was damaged by a counselor not having good skill, and wanting to do the sex abuse stuff in a way when she also triggered me. So I had to stop seeing her. I have another one now, but we have not gone near that stuff yet. I have the need for her to see and comprehend more of my current struggles and challenges. Maybe one day. Dont give up hope on the process.

@Whaledone1234 @Bow @NightHedgehog @PawsAndReflect @AlwaysMyself

Very very true @Appleblossom my last psychologist stuffed things up so many times in the beginning that I never really felt safe with her to open up about things. She then just assumed that I wasn’t ready to talk about stuff and then when she went on maternity made the decision without consulting me that I didn’t need a new psychologist.
It’s so vital that a new psychologist goes slow and steady and takes the time to build that rapport first.

@Bow @PawsAndReflect @Appleblossom @AlwaysMyself @NightHedgehog Hi everyone and thank you for your responses. It's reassuring to know that I am not alone with this. I know that revisiting the past with my psychologist is probably necessary for my recovery but whenever we have been close it's always backfired and it takes a long time to regain any of the progress we previously made. My psychologist has spoken about EMDR in the past and how this may help me get through without having to relive anything. I will discuss it with him again at my next appointment.

@Whaledone1234

I have a lot of trauma that I find difficult to talk about with anyone including my psychologist. She says we can do EMDR where the therapist is blind (as in doesn’t know the details). I have done a couple of EMDR sessions but haven’t really been able to completely heal anything yet. Need to revisit this with her next week. As others have said, you are definitely NOT alone