Hello - I'm back.....

always a smile on my face when i see you my Friend @Jacques

you were here for me when I came here to the forum xx

Thank you for the overwhelming caring response... Your kindness is appreciated!

@AppleblossomThank you - sharing #ShareTheDignity, as someone here might like to contribute & also I wanted to share that it is helping me feeling like I have a 'project' to help people (even a few). I also donated 2 x Organic Tom's sanitary items for their April dignity drive.

There was a ripple of anxiety when the yoga instructor announced we would be wearing blindfolds, but a number of people were 'all praises' after! For me it was a practice in trusting myself..... Also, we did some partner work & after the instructor told me we were the strongest pair & "I should be proud - even though pride isn't yogaish", haha... (after others had left) ..She explained blindfolded yoga helped you trust your other senses.... I did also appreciate the music more!!

@Former-MemberThank you! Yes, there is beauty & (hopefully) hope to be found amidst the darkness... Yes, the cold water (brrrr) would be good incentive, but I think it might make me more nervous & therefore less likely to have good balance! Also, I'm tough about cold water - I went swimming with seals in New Zealand when I was 15 - all the people on the boat except for two big men & me got out of the water, because it was too cold - we persevered with the frezzing water & got to swim with two beautiful seals! I have also swam in lakes on Fraser Island in the middle of winter!!

So far medication reduction is going 'okay'.... felt very unwell with anxiety & associated insomnia last night, but got through it... Not sleeping enough at times & having to try to catch up.... Still the vivid nightmares & dreams...

Went to my first parkrun (free timed 5km run) in maybe nearly a year or almost a year - yesterday - it was good!! I plan to go for a run tomorrow... see how I go... So this week = 3 x yoga & 1 x run.

I think my partner has almost finished cooking - I'll post this & hopefully reply to everyone else later tonight....

Sorry, my replies are slow to come & I really felt cared for by all the prompt replies by you all the other day @Appleblossom, @BlueBay, @Shaz51, @Jacques, @Mazarita, @CherryBomb & @Former-Member....

Namaste,

Anna

Hi @Former-Member...

Swimming with seals is my 'favorite childhood memory' - I don't have many good ones...

Great you got to parkrun x 2!! Maybe when your kids are older you can go more!! Saturday was my 25th parkrun.... Since 2014, which is when I did most of them - actually I don't think I did any parkruns in 2016 - just 2 x charity runs & my own running.... Anyhow, I didn't run today.... I was too exhausted from insomnia & vivid nightmares - I did get up when the alarm went off though, as I needed to stop the nightmares & had been laying their half awake, half dreaming - thinking it was only 4am & I had to try to stay in bed until it got light... I was able to nap this afternoon...

Anyhow, babbling...

@Jacques... Thanks... I have often feared homelessness & that is why I'm glad I've found a way I can help a few people struggling with such an unjust situation...

Keep being gentle on yourself.... I have learnt how to do a RAIN self compassion meditation... It can help a little....

R - Recognize what is going on

A - Allow the experience to be there just as it is

I - Investigate with interest & care

N - Nourish with self compassion

https://www.tarabrach.com/articles-interviews/rain-workingwithdifficulties/

@CherryBomb.... Thanks - yes - yoga & reading ....& 2 x runs so far (this month is my comeback running month, haha).... I never feel like the word "busy" applies to me as I don't work, study or have kids.... I just am trying to keep myself distracted & occupied & in some sort of rhythm.... I guess it is keeping myself busy, but I don't feel I deserve the word busy - probably because of stigma & how people have treated me..... Anyhow, thank you...

Yes, she called out of the name of the postures - a few times I peaked out of the blindfold.... I explained to @Appleblossom about how it helped me trust myself more than usual.... & we did some partner poses with hand resting on each others shoulder - tree, eagle, squat... It was good I would like to do more. It wasn't a special class - it is just what the teacher decided to do for that hatha class.

Thanks for the encouragement - my exercise per a week varies from 0 - 6,... my ideal is 5-6, but I feel 'okayish' about accomplishing something if I do 3-4 sessions.... I just do what I can week to week... It's a bit like the 'spoon theory' even though I'm not a huge fan of the theory...

Oh, & you tagged me in another thread @CherryBomb - my partner does not have a MI - he was diagnosed with dysthmia & GAD & on medication & on sick leave for several months when I first met him.... & was suicidal in his teens... But he does not have a MI now - he has amazing coping strategies - ways of accepting things how they are in his head - I wish I could just work out how to do what he does.... He knows how to JUST BE... I also have no understanding of borderline personality - I have been misdiagnosed with it in the early days, but I've never related to it & have been told I definately do not have it.... Anyhow, babbling....

Anyhow, I'm getting tired writing this.... I will have to reply to the rest of you tomorrow..... or soon....

I got my ring!

Namaste,

Anna

Swimming with seals oohh @aButterfly that is a sensational memory to store in your treasure box .. and bring out to remember when you need that kind of thing.

I have computer & net connection issues atm So taking a while to get to posts cos comp was blanking out.

I also have a lot on with trip to see ill brother and all the usual stuff.

Lovely to see you around chatting to others.

I am weird in that I do really feel comforted seeing .. here online or in the flesh .. familiar faces around me mingling doing their thing ... I feel less detached from people and more comfortable that there is good in the world.

It is work meeting and getting to know new people .. and if things change too rapidly its very unsettling.

Yes, @Shaz51..... READ!

Hey @Mazarita....Thank you!! It's great you have a shorter walking route for when you are low on energy!! Did you get back to the gym program? (Colds & floods are no good...) Beach walks? I envy your beach walks... I've put in a review form to change my very high needs housing commission from Toowoomba to the Gold Coast even though I know it will take longer....

I've finished my 9th book now... !!

Yogaing & reading... !!

I will try to get another run in next week!

Med reduction not causing too much trouble other than the vivid nightmares/dreams, which results in fatigue (& the meds already cause fatigue!!)

I love "gentled" @Appleblossom !! Thank you always for your kind, thoughtful words

Thank you @BlueBay

Strength & a hug for all including @Jacques & @Former-Member

I think I've caught up on messages, haha!

Namaste,

Anna

Hi @aButterfly

hugs 🙂

Things are sounding so much more positive for you lately. Well done on finishing another book 🙂 And awesome about changing the location on the forms 🙂

Hope the nightmares ease up, (i get nightmares constantly too which is no fun).

hugs,

lj

I've finished my 9th book now... !! wow that is wonderful @aButterfly

Hi @aButterfly, sorry to have to admit it, but I am no longer doing the hospital gym. Circumstances seemed to conspire against me and I had too many absences in a row, and so discontinued. It was only a six week program and I wouldn't have been able to make it this week and next week either (for reasons too long-winded to explain). Walks have dropped off over past couple of days because I've had a big mood nosedive. That's because our rental flat is now about to go on the market and we may need to move. But I plan to be back into the walks again as soon as I get a little bit of bounce back. I'm hoping that will be very soon as my mum and oldest friend are coming up here from Victoria to visit from next Tuesday. That is really something to look forward to!

Here's hoping your government housing for the GC comes through much quicker than expected! Really glad you are back and posting again.