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Body image and self hate

Sari147Casual Contributor12 Jan 2026, 10:21 pm AEDT

Body image and self hate

I’m posting here because I’m not sure if this constitutes a call to lifeline and talking with my friends won’t help.

I’m just in such a vile headspace where I’m hating myself relentlessly. It’s something I’ve dealt with for many years but mostly on the back burner and doesn’t affect my ability to function.
But I’m stuck hating the way I look.

TW: Discusses challenges with body image

Content/trigger warning

I’m fat (which I don’t mind or hate given the [edited by moderator] world we’re in currently) but I am heavily scarred from stretch marks. I didn’t even gain weight fast, they just popped up over night - down my arms, back, chest, shoulders, stomach, legs, bum… you name it. Thick ugly ones. And I can’t accept it. I’m so ashamed by my body and wish i could go back in time and learn to love myself when I was conventional. I’m wanting to try dating again but am so afraid I will gross people out by the state of me and confirm my own thoughts about myself. And while I wouldn’t care if someone was scarred like me I know a good chunk of people don’t like them and will think less of me for having them.

I’ve been working on self acceptance for years but nothings working. Aside from talking about it with my therapist I’m at a loss.
I just want to wear short sleeved tops and bathers and be loved without my scars bringing attention.

3 replies

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In response to: Body image and self hate

AuntGlowModerator12 Jan 2026, 10:59 pm AEDT

Re: Body image and self hate

Hello and welcome @Sari147!

Firstly, thank you so much for this brave and vulnerable share.

I completely relate to some of the things you have shared and feel about your body - I am sure many of us can. 🫶

The idea of dating and fearing if we will be accepted, loved, and cherished as we are is very understandable - we put the most vulnerable parts of ourselves into that space and it's one of the bravest, boldest things we can do!

You mentioned that you wouldn't care if someone had scars like you, and I am wondering if this could also mean that others might feel the same way? 🤔

In my experience, the right people for you, will accept and love you exactly as you are.

What insight has your therapist been able to impart about this? And have they suggested reaching out to the Butterfly Foundation at all?

Lastly, what do you like about you? It can be anything. 🥰

Please know that how you're feeling is so relatable and it sucks that the world makes us feel like there is an 'ideal' appearance... I will be here to remind you that you are already inherently worth connection and adoration, scars and all. 💛

In response to: Re: Body image and self hate

Sari147Casual Contributor12 Jan 2026, 11:37 pm AEDT

Re: Body image and self hate

Hi AuntGlow, thank you so much for your response.
Rationally I know there will be people out there who wouldn’t think twice about my scars but it’s hard to accept that train of thought and believe it. But you’re right - the right people will find a way into my life eventually. I suppose I’m also grieving the life I’ve been robbed of.

I haven’t heard of the Butterfly Foundation so thank you for mentioning it. My therapist says similar things to you. They’ve provided plenty of reading recs and ways to ease out of the spirals.

As for what I like about me, I could say a lot about my nature but given the topic I’ll say that I really enjoy my hair.

I sincerely appreciate your response. 🩷

In response to: Re: Body image and self hate

AuntGlowModerator15 Jan 2026, 5:31 pm AEDT

Re: Body image and self hate

You are most welcome @Sari147.

I think it's helpful to know we aren't alone in our experiences.

And I get how hard it is to believe the more nuanced take - our brains like black and white answers!!

They are great, you can call and chat to them when you're noticing these thoughts take hold. 🫶

ooh, what do you like about your hair? 🤩

Also, liking your nature tells me you're someone who has strong integrity and shows up with intention - tell me more! (if you'd like to)

Of course, always here to chat and looking forward to learning more about you. Happy to tag you in some other threads too, if you'd like to meet some likeminded people. 💖

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