Hi @Coco-star
It sounds like you're navigating a massive season of transition right now. It is completely understandable that things would be feeling heavy, especially when you're doing it without a local support system nearby.
Three months out of a relationship is still very fresh, and the "void" that follows can often lead us to seek quick fixes or make us feel like we're falling behind in life. Please give yourself some credit; you've already started the hard work of taking space from your ex, working with a counsellor, and pulling yourself back from a situation that wasn't serving you. That isn't "making a fool of yourself", it's practising self-preservation, which is an important thing.
You mentioned wanting to know how to attract healthy love in your post, and I truly believe that the best way to "attract" it is to become the person who won't tolerate anything less. Two things that you can try are:
- Focusing and Developing Regulation Skills: as an AuDHDer myself, I understand first-hand that I can "hyperfocus" on a new person, which can feel like love, but it's often just the dopamine spike.
- Boundaries as a Filter: healthy people are attracted to those who have their own lives, interests, and most importantly, boundaries. By focusing on your own routine, you're naturally filtering out people who are just looking for a "chase".
I know you also brought up finding a GP and getting ADHD support. I will say that it can be a bit tricky finding a GP who understands, or even has the lived experience of having ADHD, on top of waitlists and costs. But to answer your question about accessing GP's online, yes they are available, but generally for most places, you need to see the GP face-to-face once every 12 months before you can continue with telehealth appointments.
Sending you so much love and strength!