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Don't know where to start

dwoods77Contributor12 Feb 2015, 3:17 pm AEDT

Don't know where to start

I am finding it very hard to actually ask for advice here as i dont even know where to begin. As soon as i start a new post I have such a jumble of thoughts that many times i have just read over what i wrote and shut the page down... a bit like writing a letter but scrunching up the paper as nothing comes out the way i want

. I have been newly diagnosed with borderline personality disorder but have a long history of depression and anxiety. I have been hospitalized quite a few times now with depressive episodes but until now i really only got bandaid solutions and it feels like i have really just begun getting help for my deep rooted problems. I've been in hospital 4 times over the last 4-5 months and I'm rapidly beginning to feel overwhelmed again.

I have started seeing a psychologist again, my first appointment was last week and have my second appointment today. I had a psych appointment about a month ago and just missed my 2nd appointment with her. I knew it was coming up but when i rang yesterday i found out it was meant to be the day previous 😞 now she is on holidays for a few weeks and cant get in to see her for another month.

Would love to hear peoples experiences and suggestions of what to do to keep yourself occupied. I feel like I am totally stuck in a rut now and dont see a way out. I've just been granted an exemption from centrelink so i dont have to look for work or 12 months with a review at the end of that period. I don't know how i will be able to survive on the dole. I[m currently in a refuge accomodation and being crisis accomodation i'm not going to be able to stay here indefinitely but at the same time if i start looking for work i feel like i won't be doing myself a favor as i know i wont be able to cope with it.

There is approximately a 12 month wait for dbt program through my mental health clinic, my psych was trying to get me in a mindfulness program but they have a bit of a wait for that as well and in the meantime she said i would just have to make do with the gp referred psychologist.

Im really stressed out ugh...

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In response to: Don't know where to start

dwoods77Contributor19 Feb 2015, 6:35 pm AEDT

Re: Don't know where to start

hi kato, I havent put in my pension forms yet, have my psychologist appointment on friday though im not sure whether I should get her to fill the forms in, or the psychiatrist or my gp. I dont see my psychiatrist til march 15 as she is on holidays until just before then so Im a bit reluctant to change meds without her input I guess.

The sedative effect seemed to go away after a time as my tolerance built up but over the lasr week or 2 has seemed to get worse, but maybe thats because I've been getting more depressed.

I'm not even sure my name is down for the dbt program at my community mental health. Numerous people I know have had problems with them, they seem very disorganised and not really willing to help no matter how much you're crying out for it.

Im already halfway through my first 6 psychologist appointments for the year and my psychologist wants to keep seeing me weekly so after that feel like I'lI be on my own from then on. Im not very positive that anytjing good can come out of it in that short a time. On a plus side ive got a referral for a community based therapy program which is more aimed at getting people socializing which I will get my gp to fill out soon

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