Advice on relationship

My advice would be for you to each sit down and have a conversation, where do you want to be in 3,6, 9 months time, individually and as a couple? Can you get there together? Does your partner enjoy festivals too? Are you compatible for the nitty gritty stuff of life: having jobs, paying rent, buying property...these are the things that I would be wanting to define. Life is short, it goes fast, if you don't set yourself well up in youth it's very hard to catch up with age and I bet your partner is starting to get serious about life and wants to see the same from you.

That said, lots of couples use drugs together and THEY have each chosen to have that aspect of a lifestyle within a couple. Myself, I have struggled with addiction all through my life and I would not go out with someone who is committed to drug use as it costs a lot of time and money that just isn't available in my own life, so, I would never consider them for partners even if they are wonderful people. My life, I am making up for lost time and need someone on the same wavelength.

Yeah that’s a good idea. I still only young (21) so I’m not that serious about life yet I guess. But yes maybe we’ll have a sit down conversation

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@Tarmac_6 wrote:

Yeah that’s a good idea. I still only young (21) so I’m not that serious about life yet I guess. But yes maybe we’ll have a sit down conversation

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Hi @Tarmac_6, take it from someone in their 50's and has dealt with a few relationship issues... being able to have those sit down conversations is critical. Otherwise even small disagreements or annoyances fester over time. All the couple I've known that are still very close all are about to over open and honest conversations with each other.

So it’s not a bad sign that there’s things like this that we disagree on? I’m willing to make sacrifices for him, I just am so scared to be in a bad/controlling relationship as I feel like it happens to many many women.

Hi @Tarmac_6

in my life it has not been a bad sign for a relationship that you disagree on things, as long as you can get to a place where you understand each other and trust each other about the issue.

It's really up to each couple to be able to negotiate what will and won't work for them and then stick to what they've agreed to. If there aren't any other signs that he is trying to change you or control you, then this one thing might only be about your safety. You might ask him if he has had bad experiences with drugs or seen a friend's life damaged by drugs. That might be why he is so against them.