The me no one knows - SI warning

@Flutterbug9 big relate to a lot of these too, it can feel so heavy holding all these in. sending you gentle hugs 💙

Hey @Flutterbug9

This is all too familiar. I relate so much.

Sending you big hugs.

My sweet @Flutterbug9. I relate to this all so much. Sending you love and hugs ❤️

@Flutterbug9 Hello lovely. I relate so much to this as well.

We want you here. We care and will sit with you and support you. We’re a forum family.

@Flutterbug9 just saw the paragraph underneath the pics now. i'm so sorry you've felt like that, it's hard entering a holiday period when relationships with relatives aren't great. please know that the forums family is here for you 💗

what's been helping you stay safe and connected so far?

Nothing much has changed with relatives for years @rav3n This year the very small number that used to have some level of contact have completely stopped. This last few months with hospital has shown me my neighbours either side of me, for all their talk, provide zero help.

I tend not to go into details about my MH struggles on the forums. Top has come off the bottle today. Can’t bottle and try to support others at same time anymore. I have periods of black days and dark thoughts. They change to grey days until something else happens and I crash.

Yesterday was first of few anniversaries, up to mid Feb. anniversaries that bring emotions of sadness, loneliness, relief, release. Complicated.

how do I keep myself safe - try to stick to daily routine which includes searching for affirmations that speak to me and then sharing on the forums. I am safe. Would never intentionally do anything that would leave my cats on their own

@Cuddlebear @Captain24 @MissGremlin

Feeling drained, tired, miserable, lonely and very low.

dont think I’ve got anymore tears left to cry

few non forum things have all built up.

started crashing earlier today.

additional stressed has flared out my IBS.

yesterday was an anniversary/trigger day.
felt it a bit yesterday. Been hit hard today.

@Flutterbug9 that sucks that there was so help provided to you! having those anniversaries come up sounds really heavy, and i'm glad you've reached out and let us know.

your hard work in looking after yourself and also spreading positivity even in your dark times (such as the recovery tools thread), doesn't go unnoticed. you've shown a lot of strength.

do keep connecting in the spaces you feel comfy, sending you lots warm energy and hugs 💗

i'll be finishing off soon (and i'll be back at the end of jan) - take care and i'll catch you next month. i hope things get brighter for you.

Hey @Flutterbug9

I really don’t know what to say. Other than I’m listening and hearing you.

It sounds like a really difficult time for you and I wish I could do more for you than listen. I can hear it’s really hard and feels like it has all gotten too much.

I am always here for that though. No need to mask and cover things here for anyone else’s benefit. We all have things going on and where else to share it than with a community that understands and want to support you.

Thinking of you.

@Captain24 What a beautiful and loving response.