People judging me for my shyness

I self identify as a bit autistic, but that might be me just taking on too many labels. @Macfan6 what you wrote in your post was assertive and respectful. Maybe talk about it being good that there are lots of different interpersonal styles etc... Go into Myer Briggs test types... INFP etc etc...

I actually dont be an emptyheaded chatterbox either.

My first impression is that you should simply ignore or politely decline the other person. Eventually they will get the message, or when you reflect on your life you will reflect more on your actions than someone else's. If you are proud of your personality then there is nothing to be concerned about. It is very difficult for humans to change how other humans behave.

If however you are not proud of your personality or doubt it that would be different. Sometimes I find that situations similar to what you describe are an opportunity for me to learn new skills or reassess myself.

Hi @Macfan6

A warm welcome and thanks for sharing your experiences with the community!

I can hear it was a difficult situation with the new volunteer and you wished you stood up to her - especially as what she said made you feel judged - that's no good 🥀 Being able to communicate assertively isn't always easy to do hey. What would you have liked to have said to her if you could?

It's great to see the community supporting you here with some ideas and we hope this helps 🌿

Take care

TunedIn 🌷

She was not able to judge you.She was a new person who was probably an extrovert.Sometimes people who are always talking about anything to anyone but it is not because they are judging, they just don't have any idea what it's like to be a quiet person.It was just her being her and she was really teaching you how nervous she is but I remember this kid at school and she was always talking about other people who were not there to defend themselves.
If you have a person who does not stop talking they are so full of nervous speech and hearing about your experience with this is not a concern.

It better to listen and process the information and if you feel comfortable with a person who is more understanding and relaxing.I don't know if I can handle people who talk too much but it is not nice to see her as a bad thing she is just her and you are you

Don't worry about her own opinions and comments about the empty comments about the shyness.I remember when I was young and I was really quiet and especially if I started a new job.This bunch of aged care workers had a few bullies and thought it was funny to tell me,..

You don't talk much do ya???

I was just 20 years old and she was 29 I then remember another day and I was again in her presence.She whistled and she said "come back here.... now..!"I forgot about the anxiety and I got mad and I told her to never ever speak to me like I am a little odd ball coz I don't want to talk to them [edited by moderator] at work and I remember how they were startled by my anger, but I said that she should be doing her job and while her and her co worker were there attending to an elderly man.They whispered to each other and I remember that it feels good to let them know that it is not that I am too shy but because they were older than me and I had others to talk to at work and they were usually nursing students.and I imagined if I turned out as bitter as that l would be out of that job.They didn't expect me to say anything.... Years later...I had graduated from University and I was an RN and she appeared on my shift as a carer.She was not able to get any more work except agency and I truly believe that her own attitude and lack of compassion and empathy and most importantly the type of bossy person who like to be mean to the students and the new staff.People like that are not worth talking to.Scilence is a choice but stand by telling her that it's not that you are shy but because she has nervous speech

Thank you for everyone’s responses.

I would have liked to ask her why my shyness concerns her. But I didn’t want to create conflict. And I felt that might of come off as rude.

Next time I’ll politely tell her that I am happy the way I am. If I can’t find the words. I’ll just ignore her.

Hi again @Macfan6

Asking why shyness concerns her sounds like a great question! And if she's comfortable pointing out your shyness, then hopefully it's a topic she's open to discussing and hearing different opinions on? Also - if we were all talkers 🗣 then who would do the listening? I like @Appleblossom ideas on sharing the strengths 🌞 that different personality types have too! Just because she might be a talker doesn't mean everyone else wants to be!

Let us know how things are going - we are keen to hear any updates!

@Windy it sounds like you've had some similar experiences in the past too and were able to speak up when you felt bullied by older work colleagues. It sounds like it really made them think twice about their words and actions!

TunedIn 🌿

Hey @Macfan6

I'm AuDHD, and for a chunk of my life people labelled me shy. I identify as an ambivert (mostly introverted but some traits of an extrovert, depending on the context). I heard someone say once that extroverts feel like they are the default, but that maybe they need to learn to quiet down (it was worded a bit more strongly than that). I personally think people should accept people as they are and recognise that not everyone is going to be the same as them. And that's a good thing!