Worst year

Hi all.

2025 has been the worst year of my life. Here is my story:

I left the Army in 2003. Med discharge. Then started a new career as a teacher, which I was doing until Jan this year. Over the last few years my mental health has been declining. As a result, my alcohol abuse has been increasing. In January, I was arrested and charged with an offence. I spent 4 weeks in prison. Lost my career, reputation and income as a result. I was earning 150k.

I have been fighting the court matter all year and got to the point I could not afford to go to trial. I fell on my sword and took a plea deal to make it all go away. On Friday, I was sentenced to 12 months suspended sentence. I was convinced I was going to jail as the magistrate went through everything. My military career and all I have given to this country seemed to mean nothing.

I have also lost my marriage and my 3 children are with my wife and I can’t see them much. Mainly due to the fact I lived in a small town and now the town hates me. Can’t even walk in the the shops without people whispering shit under their breath or saying shit. I living with a mate until I decide what to do next.
I am now completely broken and on disability pension. 1200 a f/n.

i am about to get my car repossessed as well.
i was sectioned and send to a mental hospital for suicidal ideation. I stayed for four weeks. This next week is going to be pure hell for me.
i wake each day and suicide seems like the best option. Family have abandoned me.

i have very little left.