Worst year

welcome to the forums @RAR-MP 😊

i can see how this has been an extremely tough year for you, i'm sorry to hear how things have turned out. it must've been so overwhelming losing your job and community/family, i imagine it's been quite a lonely experience too. i am glad to hear that you're able to stay with a friend at the moment. i also want to acknowledge the courage you shown in reaching out here 💙

there's this movie quote that says something along the line of, when you hit rock bottom, the only way left is up. i know you've had a very difficult time, but i also believe in change. i believe that things can and will get better for you. it will take some time to rebuild things, but as long as you keep pushing forward, i have complete faith that next year will be a better one for you. look at how far you've come from 2003 - you started a new career, a new future - maybe this is an opportunity to start fresh too?

i know that dealing with suicidal thoughts as well as alcohol abuse can be really hard, and you deserve a space to talk about it safely and feel heard. you're not alone. i wanted to link some free services to contact, i really encourage you to check them out:

• Phone and Online Counselling | MensLine Australia
• Counselling | Open Arms
• Mental Health & Wellbeing | Veterans & Families | Mates4Mates
• Connect with a lifeline crisis supporter (24 Hrs) 13 11 14
• Suicide callback service (24 Hrs) 1300 659 467
• if you're feeling unsafe: 000 Emergency, police & ambulance (24 Hrs)

you deserve to be supported!! is the mate you're staying with someone you can chat to about this too? are you able to stay safe at the moment?

@RAR-MP glad to hear that! what do ya reckon will be your next step now? (i.e. finding a new job? re-connecting with family? etc)

also a lil forums tip: you can tag people you're responding to by using the @ symbol and typing the username. once you select the username, it'll turn blue like this @RAR-MP which means the person will be notified of your reply. hope that helps!

Hi @RAR-MP ,

Thinking of you this evening. Hearing that it has been a really difficult year for you, with a lot of loss and pain.

Thank you for your service in the army. I appreciate your bravery, courage and preparedness to protect people in need.

Did the time in hospital help at all?

I am curious, as it has sometimes been suggested to me when I have a lot of suicidal ideation, but I never have because I am not sure if it would help. I heard mixed experiences, which is why I find it interesting to ask to get more and more perspectives.

Please reach out tonight if you would like someone to chat to. Welcome to tag me (using the @ symbol).

And/or come chat with some of us who are home alone tonight in the New years eve hang-out thread. It will be OK to post there saying that you're struggling or not OK -- a number of us hanging out tonight have experience with suicidal thoughts and feelings, and help support each other through it. You are welcome to join in too, seek support, etc.

Thank you. Yes I am sitting here thinking and it is a lot of unpleasant thoughts. With people so ok.
but 2025 can go get well and truely fucked. 2026 is not going to be much easier for me sadly

I am glad you have company tonight @RAR-MP ; hoping that helps keep you safe also?

Good riddance to 2025!

2026 may be difficult and challenging too, but hopefully there is some room for improvement in the process. Sometimes working towards better things is not easy, especially at the start. And yep there will always be some hiccups along the way with life too.

Do you have anything you would like to improve in 2026? Changes that would help you cope or be less distressing?

And I'm asking what you would like, not what you think is realistic or achievable for you per se. 😊

For example, I'd love to not have SI in 2026. But I also know that is unlikely. But recognising this "like" or "want" helps me identify "step 1" - which is to decrease the distressing things that contribute to my SI. And "step 2" which is (trying to) Recovering from severe chronic anhedonia through trying to find things that can spark some positive feeling for me.

I will go back out gold prospecting. The outback and finding gold is good for the soul. I am bound by legal matter tho as I have reporting requirements and will need to work within that. WA is a police state and I can’t take a sh&t without having to notify someone.

@RAR-MP Hopefully you can transfer the reporting-requirements to a station that is close to a gold-prospecting area?

Do you do panning (like in water) or rock-pickaxing? Sorry, I don't know the correct terms! I know very little about gold prospecting, but like learning about new things from people - so feel free to teach me what you know if you like. 🙂

I haven't been to WA yet, but I would like to. It's the only state in Aus I haven't been to at all. One day I would like to drive the Nullabore, just to experience it once. Such a long open straight road. I did a lot of long-distance car travel as a child, so that part of it doesn't phase me. And now I have a car that would be comfortable enough to drive it in, and is a diesel so it would do good mileage on the open road and not risk getting too low between petrol stations.

Metal detector. Only real way of finding decent gold

A metal detector makes sense @RAR-MP , although I imagine 99% of what you find is non-gold. Or can you adjust the detectors to focus on specific types of metal somehow? That would be pretty cool if you could!

What are the rules about where you can/can't prospect for gold? Do you need a license?