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General chit chat

General chit chat

Hi@Faith-and-Hope, @utopia, @Mazarita

I'm still not very good at 'navagating' this site, maybe that's why I kept trying 'instant' chat sites - they seemed easier. But I like that messages can be checked, that it's not instant feels like some sort of barrier against instant shock I suppose - though I know this is a public Internet site so anyone can use it. I also think, though I hate the term Mental Illness, as I think it takes all the physical out of it, that the people that cause trauma probably suffer from it, so they would have just as much right to use it. But I feel a bit like typing I think, so I thought I might just blurb a little?
I've went away for a few days. I go every month. I visit the center of my Universe 🙂 The one person who has been there with/for me, their whole life & I believe will remain that way until I die 🙂 . . . & quite the large Family they have provided for me to share in 🙂 I go from, it almost seems like another Planet sometimes, my life is very quiet; to the center of my Universe, which includes 5 grand-children ranging in age from almost 2 to, going on 18; then there's the partner, the partners Parents and a large variety of friends 🙂 I often find myself thinking 'alein sound dimension' - there's so much noise on so many different levels! Every single one of them has every gadget known to mankind, and most of those gadgets make noise! And my World is a lot calmer, with a lot less going on - we're usually driving in the car, taking children to school, doing whatever shopping is necessary for the day in time for whatever seemingly endless appointment is due, . . . by the time my alarm goes off to make sure I wake up in time to get tired in time to go to sleep in time 😄 There's no way I could keep that pace up anymore! After a few days I find myself almost running away with my tail between my legs 🙂 But it's the perfect balance really, I do spend a lot of time alone - apart from my 3 furry, four-legged friends; but I am extremely lucky, my bond with my only child is of a strength I can't see breaking; I get a phone call or text every night & welcomed by a dozen open arms and smiling faces every month. I am lucky, I have a good life. Well, I think life is just a word, neither good nor bad. I have good experiences and I am happy 🙂

1262 replies

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In response to: General chit chat

Re: General chit chat

Good morning my special cyber nan @Former-Member ❤ ❤ ❤

In response to: Re: General chit chat

Re: General chit chat

Good Morning my couragous, kind, caring Grandgirl Claire @outlander 🙂

Hope the bruises are fading, along with the annoying itch! 🙂 I hope a few of the positive brain-wires are firing too 😄

You are wise beyond your years

Your a brilliant artist

Your a horse-whisperer

You bravely step-up to the responsibility of caring for your Pop and Sisters

Your an A grade student

Your a soldier in the constant battle of the home-front

Your a loyal friend

and you give this cyber-Nan a reason to smile 🙂 🙂 🙂

In response to: Re: General chit chat

Re: General chit chat

they hit the really itchy stage the other day @Former-Member but it has since eased ive been using vitamin E cream and it seems to be helping as well.

and you my cyber Nan, give me a reason to smile

In response to: Re: General chit chat

Re: General chit chat

ive missed you Niqua

youve been so quiet. ive been worried about you

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: General chit chat

Re: General chit chat

Hello my beautiful cyber grand-girl Claire

How wonderful it is to be missed! I haven't deliberately been quiet and I am fine, still riding my camping high 🙂 I had a big bathing day yesterday, baths x 3 - 2 of my furry friends {the cat really doesn't take to bathing :D} and myself {even washed my wool!}, AND bed stripped and fully remade with clean everything!!! 🙂 😄

I feel good - do do do do do do do - I knew that I would now - do do do do do do do 😄 {I hope you know the tune to read that with :D}

I feel for you, the torment of paranioa - when depression tells you nobody would bother going to the trouble of watching you. I think some of it comes from bad experiences, knowing that somebody already did take the risk of hurting you for their own self gratification. I think the brain goes into super-alert, creating 'dangers' so that you stay vigilant. Then a bit of reality seeps in, knowing how common abuse is, how many people see certain behaviours as unacceptable, sub-standard - not right in the head. I think I used to {and still do at times} feel like I have a floating neon sign over my head, saying 'Victim - pick me'!, it's makes me feel extremely vunerable - unsafe. There is safety, not everyone is a bad-guy, the Human race would not have gotten as far as it has if we were - it would have wiped itself out long before now. Instead it has become the most dominant species on the entire Planet. Our only preditor is ourselves and we are our only saviors. I think it has made such complexity in each individual person that it is impossible to tell who is which. So we create beliefs and we cling to them. I believe I am important to my child and thier children, I believe I am important to my friends here on Sane. Your are important to me Claire

Thank you for continuing your struggle no matter how hard the battle, for in doing so you are my saviour and help me defeat my preditors. I will never stop struggling and hoping that doing so will help you defeat your preditors too

@outlander

In response to: Re: General chit chat

Re: General chit chat

Hello my dearest sweet cyber Nan

oh yes ive been missing you heaps, youve been quiet and I always look forward to your msgs no matter what they are.
Wow sound like a good day yesterday, wish I could have baths too but despite having some unknown skin condition that makes me scratch water often makes it worse for me so I have to stay away from water most of the time.
Haha yes I got that tune straight away as I was reading it it popped into my head.

Ive nevr had parnoia that bad. Ive had it before but not to the extent I had it yesterday and I was worried I was going to have to check into the ED. I didnt want to do that because it would scare others and id rather keep that bit to msyelf. No one really knows about the paranoia.
Unfortunalty yes ive been used in many way and the abuse is just one of them, another is bullying and actually getting beaten up for something so minor. Me against a few not helpful esp when It starts from behind. Having a lot of stress and arguments is a major casue of my paranoia.
Oh yes I get that 'sign' too. Sometimes I walk around expecting someone to grab me or to reabuse me which is a fear trying to enter into a relationship but I often wonder what a normal intimate relationship Is like and not getting dragged upstairs and havin thing forced in.
I hate it and I hate that it happened but I guess it is what it is and now my job is learning to trust and build my life back up.

Your so important to me, more than what words can say and even though I might not be here all the time I want you to know im always with you in spirit.
I dont have much else to do rather than fight. Ive never really been known to 'give up' which is why I cant believe and im so embarrassed about my attempts, my sh and admissions. Why did I let it get to the point of that. I should have asked for helped a whole lot sooner

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: General chit chat

Re: General chit chat

Good night my beautiful cyber grand-girl Claire @outlander 🙂

I see no embarrassment in negative experiences pushing you past the point of being able to control your actions, I see only strength and courage in continuing to battle even past that point

Sleep well as my cyber-self sits by your bedside and strokes your hair

In response to: Re: General chit chat

Re: General chit chat

good morning @Former-Member

thanks for hanging around last night

i dont know what to do Niqua. i cant get past this. i dont think ill ever win against the black dog.

In response to: Re: General chit chat

Re: General chit chat

Good Morning Mazy @Mazarita, Claire @outlander, @Faith-and-Hope, @Shaz51, Sis @Former-Member, @CheerBear, @Owlunar, @soul, @Maggie

I'm struggling a little. I know what's bothering me - I just don't know what to do about it. Going to visit the center of my Universe this weekend. I know they're struggling - I just don't know what to do about it. I can not make decisions for them, and the decisions I have made in my life have quite often not been good ones - so what would I know.

In response to: Re: General chit chat

Re: General chit chat

Thinking of you @Former-Member and hope it all works out for the best.

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