General chit chat

Gidday Mazy @Mazarita,

I completely understand the smile now, frown now, smile again, frown again scenario! I haven't got the fanciest bed in the World, but I have got a fancy mattress topper, one of those memory foam ones - it cost a packet and it's like sleeping on a pillow, it's wonderful . . . add the fancy (also packet costing) pillows (3 of them, one for my head and one for each knee {I put one either side of me and can roll backwards and forwards and always have a pillow to land my knee on :D} and it's sleeping heaven! 😄 😄
The back of my car is comfy, it has a good mattress and a topper (not a memory one) and I took a sheep's wool under-blanket and hot water bottle and quilts, so I wasn't cold at all - particularly when you add the 2 living hot water bottles; both dogs sleep in the back with me - I can't bring myself to set them up outside in Winter; and I'm as cosy as toast, but moving around in there is a little difficult ;D
What a whirl-wind of madness the Center of my Universe is becoming 🙂 Half the household has jobs now, as the 2 eldest grandgirls have started working at a very famous take away, and my Child's new job has rapidly increasing hours, my Child's Partner has always worked hard hours - so all in all it's mayhem! There's always someone starting or finishing work, and the 2 girls don't have their license or cars yet, . . . . so there's always some plan to get someone there or back. Then it's school holidays and the younger ones have social calenders they wish to attend to! Somewhere in there, 'cause Nanny's visiting, there has to be a visit to the Chemist and Life Line. I have to say, this time round, those visits were excellent - I got my usual shopping bag of herbal supplements and a set of magnetic inner souls from the Chemist and BOY did we get some bargains at LL this time 😄 My child is evil, they guided me straight to a rack that was exclusively Hippy clothes - I think I bought half the rack! I keep a supply of clothes at their home, so I don't have to worry about packing them, but this time when I got there I couldn't find any (and it's hard to just open the laundry door, so I must confess I didn't look very hard in the house{I keep my supply in an outside shed}. So I did happily let myself go a little in LL, as I figured I was replenishing the supply. The day I packed up to leave, I found a bag full of my clothes that was placed beside my box in the shed! So now I've got a double supply 🙂 Shame that doesn't mean half the packing 🙂
An expensive piece of jewelery went missing, I have my doubts as to whether it was lost or sold, but either way my Child was devastated about it (it was the most expensive thing I'd ever bought them, it was solid gold) and I put a good deposit on a replacement, I think with all the incomes that household has now, they should be able to pay the rest off.
I eat like a trouper when I'm there, I got take aways the first night there and Indian was chosen {I think it's a household favourite} they always get me a mild one, this time it was something like Buttered Chicken I think, . . . very nice and very filling! The next night my child made a lamb casserole with Dumplings! I love Dumplings and Lamb is my favourite!, then the next night they turned it into a Lamb Dumpling pie!! Pure genius and added YUM!! My child has been diagnosed with Celiac so I know everything they make will not upset my insides - PHEW! Who'd think I'd be glad they had a medical problem!! 😄 The last night was a bit odd, as the Partner didn't have work that day and when it got to around tea time I offer my money card so they could go and get something (I suggested a cooked chook and some chips, but they said it wouldn't be gluten free and said to just wait for my child to get home?) My child didn't finish until 7pm, so it was 7.30-8pm and none of the children had been fed and nothing had been done about it. I felt awful, I didn't know what to do and the whole situation just felt horribly awkward. My child was obviously not happy about it, when they got home. I can understand that and don't know why the partner didn't do anything about it, unless they were waiting for me too - but they've known me for a lot of years and . . . well . . . I don't. Maybe if I could dig a hole outside and cook out there, but it's a rental and you can't - but being in a kitchen, particularly someone else's kitchen - kind of freaks me out and I can't think. Anyhow, they weren't getting on and the decision was put on me . . . so I thought it has to be quick and easy (and I'm running out of money) so I said 'Sausage Sizzle!' and off the partner went and got sausages and some bread rolls . . . and the partner ended up cooking it . . . so maybe I won that battle 😄
Maybe I should change the title of this thread to 'General Chat Rave' 'cause I seem to be raving on a bit 🙂 You know I think I've learnt stuff from this site, I've noticed a certain routine in my life and know that in the next few days I'll crash. It always did seem a bit odd to me that my muscles and joints end up hurting more a few days after an event. I have had a Doctor draw me a chart once, something about how things take longer to build up in my mind and how they stay 'peaked' for much longer, before things can start to settle back down. It's a bit like 'things' still aren't happening, they're still not real yet. But whether I understand the physical side of that (it was like a wave on the chart) or not, I think it's a good thing to know it's going to happen and that all I need do (here's something else I've gotten from here) is ride the wave and then eventually things will go back to normal. I have guided my life the best I can to have a quiet and peaceful one, and I think I've done well to manage my mind with that environment.
Ok, I am going to stop raving now. It's great to be typing to you again 😄 My dear, sweet, special friend ❤️

I'm at the local library at the moment. Killing time whilst my car is getting maintenance done. Very awkward! It shuts from 1-2pm and I was told that my car wouldn't be finished until 2.30-3pm, don't know where I',m going to hide then!! My stomach fells awful.

Hi @Former-Member, hoping your car is finished at the mechanics now. I wonder what you did between 1pm and 2pm. Sending hugs for what you were feeling.

I have been at my friend's place most of the day. Aside from that I've been in an obsessive video moment a lot of the time. Didn't get to the beach today but walked around the back streets to the bus stop on the way home.

I hope that's where you are now, in your nest, feeling safer again after stretching your wings today.

Gidday Mazy @Mazarita 😄

I'm feeling a little better today 🙂 Phew! I was feeling a little sad, unloved, completely illogical - at least I can recognize that now {actually I've been able to recognize it for years}. But that doesn't entirely help while it's happening. I'm still not feeling 'right', though to be honest I couldn't tell you what feeling 'right' . . . feels like 🙂 My annoying fingers are still occasionally pressing the wrong key . . . AAUUGGHH!! I can almost feel it in my skin, like micro pins and needles, particularly in my finger tips? And wouldn't you know it, I have to go to town again today! When I think about it I actually go to town very often, although it's a rare event that I have to hang around all day waiting to get my car back! {and that's definitely worse than going to the center of my Universe!} I'm nearly out of smokes, and that evil addiction overcomes any neurobiological disorder . . . it overcomes anything! If only my head had worked while I was stuck in town for 5 hours!!! Now I'm noticing a bit of a sore throat and my nose is starting to stuff up . . . maybe the aches were the beginning of a cold, there's one 'going around' in the center of my Universe {my grandbabies love to share those! :D} But I have all the usual herbal supplements to fight the common cold. Oh, I got those herbal menopause one's while I was in the center (ofU) - so I've just started them, I'm still getting the hot/colds a bit, but I haven't been too bothered by it since the weather's cooled down. There were a couple of times while I was in the center, that everybody else was complaining about it being cold . . . but I was fine . . . there are benifits to getting old during Winter 😄 I haven't noticed you around the past couple of days? I'm hoping your enjoying a bit of video obsession 😉 Don't worry about not getting to the beach the other day, you walked around the back streets {very brave!} and looked at something different - a change is as good as a holiday . . so the saying goes.

Sending you love and hugs, and load of positive creative energy {to help with that obsession of yours:)}

Your friend Niqua.

Gidday, Niqua.

Good to hear you are feeling a bit better today. Sad and unlovable are feelings I know well, mostly from times past, but still there's that deeply insecure space in me now at times. I know what you mean about recognising these things intellectually but that doesn't necessarily shift the feelings, that can be so much bigger than thoughts. I don't really know what feeling 'right' is either. I guess what we can sense though, is when we are more out of whack with our feelings and perceptions than usual.

So another trip to town, and all because of smokes, dammit. Yes, that would be me too, going out of my normal comfort zone for the sake of smokes. Gotta laugh at us, eh? Or feel bad for us that we are so addicted. Preferably laughter.

I haven't been on the forum much over the past couple of days, it's true. I've been awake most of the night for the past three or four evenings, working on video mostly, and that has thrown my whole system out of balance. The days are heavy with jet-lagged feelings at the moment. When I'm feeling that weird and tired, I lose motivation for writing here. But the video making has been going well and the nights are so peaceful, and that brings great feelings while they last.

Also since I've been in the night rhythm lately, my leg and foot pain has flared up so that I'm not able to walk far at all without starting to limp and slow down to a very slow crawl. It's so hard for me finding a balance between the purposeful/creative aspects of my life, and basic life and health matters, especially so since each element seems to demand a different time clock!

Thanks for the love, hugs and creative energy. Sending them straight back atcha!

@Former-Member

I love it when we're on at the same time Mazy! 😄

But I have to get offline now, as the dribble of tobacco I have left will be lucky to make me the ciggerette that I need to get to town! 🙂

Yes . . . I prefer to laugh at it! 😄 😄 😄

Take it easy on your legs and feet - I'll write more later

@Mazarita

Gidday Mazy 🙂

I have to go to town AGAIN! I really don't want to! The only thing that came out of the maintenance was that my spare tyre had a leak, so on that day I went over to the tyre place and asked about tyres - they had to order them (I guess I'm lucky my little town even has a tyre place). I missed a call from them that day, I don't make phone calls so I dropped in when I went for smokes yesterday . . . and they said to come in today! AAAUUUGGGHHH!!! . . . and the weather is miserable, my power just failed (at 9am!){looks like I'll be fighting the genny when I get back! - as the secondary systems battery is still in the farm car! - doesn't get much solar charging in there!} My aches are coming back, my throats still not good and I've had this nasty sore on my face for a couple of weeks now {I think it was a cold sore, but I just can't leave it alone - and it's right there on my face where everybody looks!} If I wasn't spending money at these places I'm sure they'd send me away! WOW . . . that was a good whinge!

I'm sorry your feet and legs are troubling you and that you have that jet-lagged feeling through the day, a sacrifice you make for your creativity through the night. Sleep is such an important thing, I think Winter has a bit to do with sleep changes - the fact that there are less daylight hours. I've been not getting tired by pumpkin hour so much these days too. Sometimes I think why do I fight it, it's not like I've got to get up for work? Then a little voice whispers from the back of my mind 'because you need to for you, you don't feel good when you don't sleep right'. And so selfishly the battle goes on. I guess I'm saying that so that you will keep selfishly continuing your battle, balancing your creativity with your health. My guess is your still getting over your roller-coaster ride of where you live and your friends personal troubles, your partners problems at work, your Mum's visit and so many things.

I got a bit lost in the forest yesterday, I dropped in on my way back from town, I often do as I'm going past it. I couldn't go into the track I usually do as someone had pulled off the road and was parked there. So I went to an old track, one I used to regularly go to but had forgotten about because it had become so overgrown. I pulled in and noticed a little side track, I decided we'd just wander down there a little as the sun was going down and it needed to be a fairly short walk. But as I got to a point where I thought 'that's far enough, better get back it's getting dim' I noticed a fence - I was pretty sure I recognized where I was - the quarry, the one that has my little cave. I couldn't stop, I had to continue along the track and be sure it was where I thought it was. So I ended up walking twice as far as I intended, and the sun had disappeared whilst I did so. Luckily the moon was out, and I figured it was a pretty good track I'd followed, it should be simple enough getting back. All the sounds change in the forest once the sun goes down, I started feeling a bit of fear, thinking about the wild dogs and pigs. Next thing I notice the ground dipping away very quickly and then a heard a splash, I managed to make out a dam (my young fella decided a night time swim in Winter was a good idea!) and realized I wasn't on the track I thought I was because I had not passed a dam on the track I had taken. Somehow I'd taken a wrong turn! Though the excitement of actually recognizing where I'd been, it was the quarry and my cave!, seemed to cancel out any fear of wild life. I also could not only hear, but see the lights of vehicles on the highway, in fact they where a lot closer than where I'd driven into. So I knew if I just kept walking, keeping that highway on my left, I'd eventually come out somewhere. I didn't have the leads for the dogs with me, or I would have just gone out to the highway, but by just continuing on the path (that was not as cleared as the one I'd taken in!) I did find the track I'd driven in on, and then all I had to do was walk back up to where I'd parked the car. So all in all it was a bit of excitement 😄

Mmmm, it's 10am now, I'd better get off here, get dressed and get into town (YUK! another hour or 2 of waiting, wandering, feeling exposed and vunerable in public!!) Think I might give town a miss for a week at least after this!!!

Love, hugs and positivity to you @Mazarita

Well, I've been having a wonderful time on the Forum this morning - but it's not morning anymore, and if I'm going to start washing dishes and clothes, or organizing camp packing . . . I have to get off 😄

I really do think I'm feeling much better today 😄 I'm full of gratitude again, for the friends - the real friends I have on this Forum; for the people that created, organize and run this Forum. It's so good to have positive feelings again

Hello @Former-Member, @Mazarita, @outlander, @Faith-and-Hope, @CheerBear

how are all my friends today xx

do you think tonils can grow back ??