General chit chat

@Former-Member I also worry I've said too much. I can't help feeling positive he is here. This site is for people with problems, and abusers have problems too. I like that the messages are checked here. Though that wouldn't stop him, he'll pretend to be . . . whatever, the anonymity can work both ways. I made a complete fool of myself at the last site, broke the rules, spitting out names - I was so sure it was him, and I still am. I don't know how he did it, as I have blocked him from email, but I recieved one from him the very next day and I've been getting phone calls, with no-one on the other end, ever since. (don't know how he's doing that either, I changed my number, all those years ago when he started.) But I'm tired of hiding and I can't run any more. I've noticed a button, I think it's on the screen before you log in, it says something like 'contact moderators offline' - I don't know the rules, but maybe you could tell them your story that way. My memory is very patchy throughout my life, I call them black boxes, big chunks just disapear - the bad and the good; it makes me very sad when I realise it has taken memories of my child. So maybe it's a good idea to tell your story while you still remember it. I don't think there's any such thing as safety, there's just good and bad situations . . and all the shades inbetween. I think your allowed to ramble here and I think that's absolutely wonderful - a place where I can be me.

My day's going along quite well, I even did the dishes today! 😄

@Former-Member ACORN Australian Cybercrime Online Reporting Network. I did report it. I don't know if trauma scrambles the brain, but I think it permanently changes it, physically. . . anyhow I won't blurb on 🙂

I hope your day is going well too! and thanks for liking my profile pic 🙂

Does anyone feel like, they're getting worse as they get older? I never used to cry, full stop - it wasn't allowed, that wasn't something you bothered others with - you had to do that alone. I only saw my Mother cry once in my whole life, it was when it 'sunk in' that she wasn't going to get better. It shattered me, I didn't know what to do or say, I just said 'it's alright, everythings alright'. She was a Saint my Mother, so restrained, so polite, never raising her voice, never swearing - how could she hold all that in for her whole life?

I think my family was told, just never speak of it and it will be forgotten. The details go away but the feelings get set in cement. and I think it allowed it to continue, silently, with no words, it made it safer for them!

Hi @Former-Member and @Former-Member,

yes trauma can cause changes to our brain, but this is not necessarilly permanent 🙂

I had a little bump the other day. My young dog knocked me right off my feet! He was just playing. I also have a little dog, he tends to come to my feet to stop the young dog 'playing' too much with him. The young fella just got carried away. He hit my legs like a super dense bowling ball of muscle and I flew like a bowling pin in a strike! I got up fighting, don't you worry . . . and I think he learnt he has to watch me - not the other way around! My left hip is a bit sore, which bothered me because it's normally my right side that plays up. I started the whole, whoa is me, what am I going to do if I can't walk. It's an argument I often have with myself, as my right side often plays up with the weather (well, I think it's the weather anyhow), and the argument always ends with - well, I'll get a wheelchair; then the second argument - but your shoulders are no good . . . that one always ends up with - well, I'll get an electric wheelchair! In fact I've now decided, if it ever comes to that, I'm going to get me a four-wheel-drive, super-charged wheel chair and give the young fella a real run for his money! 😄

Good Morning @Mazarita 🙂 It's raining here and I think that's better than good 😄 I just want to say, I know your exhausted from being so brave and so strong for so long. I know you won't let them win, you'll never give up. That's how we can help the younger ones that have they're own individual brain processes, for whatever reason they have them. We can show them you don't have to be 'normal' to be brave and strong! Thinking of you

@Former-Member, ouch to your fall! You describe it with good humour but sounds like quite a shakeup. I love your philosophical attitude to possible future limitations with age (may or may not happen, of course). I can just see you zooming around in your 'four-wheel-drive, super-charged wheel chair'. It can be like: 'out of my way, Sonny!' Maybe they should create 'dodgem/wheel chair' stadiums. Could be a new sport for us ageing ones to look forward to. Gee, I'm feeling a bit silly this morning too, by the looks of it! On a quieter note, thanks for your kind words. Yes, I have felt knocked around just lately, but in a much better space today. Grateful. And grateful for your lovely words.