I took the dogs for a walk in the State forest yesterday. I drove in a bit further than I usually do, as I'd found a part of the road in there, that appeared to have no tyre tracks - and I liked that! I found a safe (not so likely to get sand [well it's not really sand, the locals call it bull-dust] bogged) spot on the side of the road to park up and off we went. I had an ulterior motive for checking out this part of the forest, the fact that there were no signs of tyre tracks or no other signs of people had me thinking, this might be a good spot to camp; although there was no water and that's one of the things I like looking at when I go camping, I thought it would be something, like a first step, a start.
My young dog was doing well, although he did shoot off into the bush now and then, he also reappeared quite regularly and I wasn't worried about him at all. I wasn't intending on a long walk, and like the fact that he can run free and burn off some energy while I plod along. We were on our way back, after a little exploration of a side-track, an added bonus for my dogs is my curiosity of these little tracks; when I heard a loud thump and a crash. My young dog came bolting out of the bush at terrifying speed, with his tail and rump end all curled in, he was definately frightened by something! I saw a large black shape and the only thing I could think of was a cow or bull.
To be honest it was a little exciting, so I wandered in a little to have a bit of a look . . . but there was nothing. I still think if something the size of a cow had run off into the thick bush, I would have heard something? At this point I wasn't aware they ran livestock in State forests. I really started doubting myself, as I've had trouble with my mind and reality before, but not for many years now. I decided to continue on my way back, I'd had enough of the walk now. The young dog took off again, in the same direction; but I chose to continue getting back with my little dog and let the young fella catch up. Not long after that, my little dog, who never leaves me, took off into the bush on the other side of the track.
I called my little fella who returned, but, for the first time ever, his behaviour was like the young dogs - he took one look at me and dashed back in to the bush! I called and called but neither of them came, I couldn't hear anything running through the bush, it was like they'd disappeared, I was completely alone - both my dogs missing! I was getting pretty stressed, which confusses me a lot, and all I could think of was getting back to the car for a ciggerette as this walk was taking a lot longer than I'd intended (and I don't care that smoking is unhealthy!) When stress takes hold it feels like I'm not there, I'm watching a movie; my actions aren't my own, their some sort of automatic reaction.
My young fella was the first to return, he'd run himself so ragged that he vomitted! I instantly started worrying about baits! I put him in the back of the ute with some water and returned to the bush where my little fella had gone. I know it's often not the best way to find a dog, it can confuse them because the calls and whistles are moving around whilst your getting yourself lost in that same bush! But I was getting desperate. I heard some high pitched weird noises, I started imagining the little fellas yelps; but it came from an entirely different direction? Maybe I was lucky, it made me stop and turn around. I'd lost sight of the track and felt very disorientated.
Once upon a time I would be able to recogize specific trees, their shapes or colours for instance; or even just the lay of the land - but not any more, which is why I try to stick to the paths. The noise had led me back to the track, I didn't know what else to do, so I just started walking up the road, calling, always calling. Half and hour or so had passed by, I walked up and was returning back down. I was just about to cry when I saw the bouncing ball of white fluff bounding straight towards me 🙂 He stopped a couple of times, like he wasn't sure, so I yodelled a sing-songy call, that I use just for him, and we were finally reunited!
I picked him up and carried him back to the car, to ensure he didn't take off again! Water was the first thing he wanted too, and the young fella wasn't being sick anymore; so I hoped that meant it wasn't bait. The whole episode had really shook me, and considering when we first took off, I could have sworn I saw my cat following us (he was not there), I do think my brain process is making things a little difficult right now. I suppose at least it's giving me a variety of things to look at, but my biggest fear, about a decade ago when I had a pretty big problem with it, was, what if I start 'seeing' realistic things - how would I know the difference.
Today I've been looking things up on the internet. I've discovered the State forests do give leases to cattle graziers and that those graziers and the State forest, regularly trap and bait for dogs, using 'scent stations' (area's covered in domestic dog urine) to attract them. This site recommended the 'rubber jawed' traps, but stated the alternatives were still ok, refering to them as 'foot hold' traps. I thought those kind of traps were banned decades ago! I can't go there anymore. I can't walk on the dirt back roads around my home, because people drive like idiots everywhere. There is nowhere I can go.
I learnt a new word today - Antipathy, it means:- 1. a natural, basic, or habitual repugnance; aversion. 2. an instinctive contrariety or opposition in feeling. 3. an object of natural aversion or habitual dislike. I think that's what I feel for Humanity. Perhaps there are individuals that I would not feel this way, but when you put a bunch of us together - we are the nastiest, most aggressive creatures on the Planet!
