Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

Feeling lonely but turned down a social opportunity

fruitisgoodSenior Contributor12 Dec 2025, 9:58 pm AEDT

Feeling lonely but turned down a social opportunity

As the title says. Been feeling just so exhausted and lifeless and alone, and have the opportunity to go out this evening for a drink by the beach and yet I still said no.

A part of me is yelling "what the heck man?" which probably isnt helping.

Im just feeling like crap and I feel this intense absence of motivation to do anything at all. Anyone else can relate? please be kind, I feel like this behaviour can be easy to judge.

4 replies

1 - 4 of 4

In response to: Feeling lonely but turned down a social opportunity

DahliaDreamsSenior Contributor13 Dec 2025, 5:53 am AEDT

Re: Feeling lonely but turned down a social opportunity

@fruitisgood, I can relate to you. When I feel tired, alone and anxious, the thought of seeing someone gives me mixed emotions. I would like to see a friend because it might make me feel better, but on the other hand, I worry that I will have to confess how I really feel inside - which might lead to them rejecting me in some way, I don't like to be a disappointment to people. I don't like to think that a friend wanted to have a good time, and I brought them down in some way.

Also, social contact can feel overwhelming sometimes and I struggle to express myself adequately - then there is the fear of being mis-understood and saying something I'll regret, maybe.

I hope you are feeling a bit better this morning.

I am here to listen if you would like to chat some more.

In response to: Feeling lonely but turned down a social opportunity

Mrs_FixContributor13 Dec 2025, 7:30 am AEDT

Re: Feeling lonely but turned down a social opportunity

@fruitisgood

Hey I totally get it.

I enjoy being alone as my social battery is extremely low. The idea of “hanging out with people” is extremely tiring. I ditched 70% of the plans I made with people at last minute (Yes, I am INFJ)

Over the years I have learned to accept my low social battery and how to work around it to prevent burnout out.

You don’t have to shape your social life like normies. For example, I consider talking to you now/ people on this forum as part of my social life as I have a community that share similar life experiences.

Give yourself patience while you are searching for what suits you and recharges you the most.

And then one day Loneliness will become Solitude, boredom will become unappreciated serenity.

In response to: Re: Feeling lonely but turned down a social opportunity

Shaz51Senior Contributor13 Dec 2025, 7:58 pm AEDT

Re: Feeling lonely but turned down a social opportunity

same here @fruitisgood , @DahliaDreams , @Mrs_Fix

I am finding it easier to not go now knowing my husband would not go anyone

In response to: Feeling lonely but turned down a social opportunity

AnnoyedSheDevilSenior Contributor16 Dec 2025, 11:34 am AEDT

Re: Feeling lonely but turned down a social opportunity

@fruitisgood

I don't know if you have Depression, but even just feeling a little down and out of sorts it's not recommended to drink.

Alcohol is a depressant, it would only make you feel worse. I have struggled with Depression for decades now and can confirm that drinking alcohol only makes everything worse, and can cause you to spiral down further.

If another opportunity comes along to hang out socially, maybe suggest something that you and your friends enjoy that doesn't involve alcohol or just abstain from drinking. It can be difficult to get motivated to socialise, especially when you're feeling mentally or emotionally drained, but sometimes hanging out with a smaller group can bring you out of that awful funk.

I am not trying to put you or anyone down, just trying to bring awareness and I hope you can get back to enjoying socialising again. Best wishes fruitisgood ❤️

1 - 4 of 4