Hi @lightseeker I'm sorry that you're not enjoying the forums so far, or that they're not meeting your needs.
I'm hearing that you have a lot of big questions and are seeking other's thoughts and opinions. With the forums being an a-synchronous space conversations tend to move at a slower pace, and often these philosophical questions may require members to take longer to consider an answer.
While you wait for the right members to find your post, and craft their thoughtful responses I might encourage you to browse the forums and provide some support yourself by posting in existing threads. Not only will this help to pass the time, but it can help to boost your sense of community and help you to start forming connections. I know that you're looking for a tribe and community, so perhaps this can help as a starting to point to feel that community here on the forums.