Doesn’t feel like i could get through

I’m sinking and it’s been 16 days since I broke my foot. I look at my daughter who is

ASD and she is on high alert/stress. Her routine life has flipped.

She looks like she is living with constant panic. Her dad is taking her to her appointments.

I am so scared of falling again because of the crutches and a very heavy feeling with the cam boot.

Last night I woke at 2.30am and that was my sleep. I tried to fall asleep.

But it didn’t come. I’m exhausted, my body is aching. I’ve been crying a fair bit, having to rely on husband and daughter now cooks for me.

All my choice is gone. I have to wait until someone is ready to help me. I am constantly asking for help, and I feel annoying. I am losing my mind. I sleep with the cam boot and have anxiety everytime I feel a pain, and worry I am injuring my foot all over again.

I focus on every step i take with the crutches. I am no weight bearing for 2 more weeks, all up will be 4 weeks no weight bearing. It’s ground hog day, all I can do is sit rest and use the bathroom.

There’s a slight possibility i will need foot surgery because of the fracture the 5th metatarsal is at the base and called a jones fracture with a very low blood supply so no union. I’m experiencing very dark mood and want to cry a lot more than i do.

Husband doesn’t do emotions and daughter cries if i cry.

I need to get on a plane January 2 to see my sister in Perth who is battling stage 4 brain/lung cancer and now trying immunotherapy. I have not seen her for 7 years.

I have huge fear of airports and planes. I got something from my Gp that should settle my anxiety for going and coming home.

I am prettified of the whole everything and if I can actually get myself on a plane. Do I have the option of getting on and or off the plane not using steps.

Every day for me is a war zone; my mental health. Again I’m in a tornado.I can feel the depression it is very heavy and exhausting.

I google too much to find a light in this foot fracture situation. Can someone vouch that some Jones fracture can heal with no surgery in 6 weeks. I’m so negative. I hate the looping repetitive mind talk and the feeling of being in survival mode. Always scared of something.I’m so tired.

Thankyou for reading