Partner with Psychosis

Hello @XXV,

Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing this with us. I can't even begin to imagine how painful and confusing this all must be for you... I am not sure where to begin, other than, please know we are here - this space is for you, so please use it how you need and know that we are here to listen.

We have some wonderful likeminded people on the forums who will help you to feel held and understood during this time.

This is a lot for one person to go through... of course you miss your best friend - and to be pregnant with two young twins to care for would be so much to hold.

I am wondering who is there for you right now? And I would like to know if you have any personal professional supports?

In the meantime, I am thinking @DownMoreThanUp could help to provide some guidance through lived experience here, so just tagging them so they can follow along and add a few more friends too.

Please let me know if you have any questions and know that you are absolutely not alone.

Big hugs,

AuntGlow. 💛

@XXV So sorry to hear about the turmoil going on in your life. As your partner is at the moment i would not take him in. This would not be safe. He needs to come out of his delusions firstly. Medications will be needed and then good counselling. So he can work through his psychosis and find the truth of you instead of the lies he is holding onto now.

@AuntGlow (thanks tagging me.)

For as long as he is unmedicated i strongly advise against you spending time with him on your own thinking as he does about you. Please only visit him when there are others around, just in case, but try and visit him a lot and show you love and care about him getting help. (if at all possible) Most likely i'm reacting too strongly, but safety is important to you and the kids. Delusional people thinking loved ones are wicked should not be underestimated to become unpredictable.

i say this for as a psychotic person i know from myself the crazy stuff i have been up to, and i have believed about my loved ones, when i was psychotic. And how we did not realise the danger i became in that state. Only by the grace of God did we get through a few times before i understood i needed help. So please do not but yourself, or him for that matter, in danger.

You need professional help big time i reckon. Good co-counselling how to proceed from here would be very useful, so is this place.

Is there any way you can get him to take anti-psychotics? Are there other (illicit) drugs involved, or alcohol? (Just making sure we got the situation right.)

Hello, and thank you for the response i truly appreaciate it. @DownMoreThanUp This last 5 weeks have been an absolute whirlwind of emotions and its alot. His first episode he spent 14 days hospitalised. Was not stable but discharged anyways and has again been hospitalised now 8 days ago. He has cut me off completely and we have had zero contact apart from him making it very clear he blames me and he never wants to talk or see me again. Im heartbroken the baby is due in now 10 weeks and he is telling me he is moving overseas to live permanently. I had high hopes for him getting better but when he was discharged the 1st time he went to live with friends, went back to work within 24 hours and didnt take his meds so relapsed the hospital wont update me on anything as he hasnt signed the consent forms for me so im trully left in the dark about it all. Im really lost at how to support him through this when he wants nothing to do with me, our family, our life that we built 😞

Hey @XXV, 👋

Trying to be there for your partner while he goes through a mental health crisis sounds like it's becoming more and more difficult. I can hear how much care you have for him and it's understandable why you are left feeling heartbroken as you have a baby on the way and had hopes he would get better after being discharged from hospital the first time. Your partner experiencing psychosis is not your fault, and we hope that you can communicate more with hospital staff about visiting him/ getting updates on his health.

This link may also be helpful for you in navigating this difficult time. It has info on how to support someone experiencing psychosis, as well as links to other resources and helplines: How can I communicate with someone experiencing psychosis? ⬅️

Hopefully, things start to improve as he works towards getting better. Take care of yourself 🍃

@XXV So very sorry to hear this. It is awful when our minds betray us and we leave the ones we love, or we think bad about them. All i can say is if you love him then await him to come back to his senses.

Do not believe how he is feeling about you now. Do not accept it. And if he does not want to see you in real life, or that triggers him, maybe send cards, flowers, news about or photos about people he knows, or other things you know he likes to hear, see, drink or taste. Make sure tell him you love him, without nagging him, or demanding he does, and want to wait till he is better enough to be able to see that. Be careful not to be who he thinks you are, rather without words prove him wrong.

Sadly i can give you no guarantee he will turn around. It depends how happy you were together before he became unwell. How much he want to have a life and family with you before he became ill. All kind of intimate things, if you got them hold onto them. For if you know they existed before he became unwell, you have a much better chance he comes back to them. i know i did.

My wife kept showing me that she loved me. Never making demands while i was ill, but always doing her best to make sure i was looked after. So when my psychotic mind calmed down my loved ones came back, although while psychotic i had chased them all away. Very much like your partner by the sounds of it.

Not sure if you can survive this. Make sure you take care of yourself, for otherwise, no matter how good your intension, you will not be able to get through this.

Make sure you have good loving support you can trust not to hate your partner afterwards for making life hard for you.

I’m so sorry that you were going through this. It must be extremely difficult.
I am going through a similar thing with my father, I’m an only child and he does not have many others to support him. it’s been a really rough few weeks and I also have been struggling a lot. we thought that he was better and they let him out of hospital but that Night things took a turn for the worst again and he has ended back up in there yesterday. it is so scary because they truly do believe that everything is real. It’s really heartbreaking and it’s comforting to know that we’re not alone.

I am going through the EXACT same situation, to a tee. I’m wondering if you have any updates since December . I am struggling to understand this all with my partner and am scared that this is never ending, that he has now left me and will forever have this mind set about me… that I am “out to get him” and he absolutely despises me. He also said he would be moving to another country or state , abuses me to NO end on the phone, I take the calls because it’s the only way I know he’s still alive at this point , he’s pushed everyone away in his life. I have no idea what to do anymore, it’s all I think about. This is his second major “episode in the last year, he came back from the first one , but this one feels more final and he is more convinced I am evil. It’s been a month now. How is this real !? Have you had any positive changes since your last post? Or has it continued to spiral with no changes ?

@sad1111 This has been so hard for you, I can hear just how much you really love him and are so worried that he will never recover. It is so difficult to hear the illness speaking, the hurtful words and delusions because of the psychosis and episodes. You have bravely remained wanting to be there despite the distressing nature of his behavior on these calls. You are doing all that you can and so much is not in your control, so it is important that you keep your own heart and mind safe. I hope you have people you can turn to and talk to and remember to make time for your own needs as well, keep connected to things and people which bring some safety or enjoyment for you because you are important too! I am so glad you are reaching out; it is one of the most difficult things to do.