Lived-experience of personality disorder

Hey @Mothlet ,

That's super interesting. From what I know, HPD falls under a category of personality disorders, just like NPD. I heard that they wanted to remove it from the DSM. I wonder if it's because it has a bad rapt?

Sorry, I also don't have any stories about HPD.

What are some of your experiences?

How do you feel about your diagnosis?

@tyme Not sure about any of those questions to be honest haha 🤷‍♀️

Hi @Mothlet I have met one person diagnosed with BPD and none diagnosed with HPD.

The person diagnosed with BPD lost her child because her own feelings of inadequacy interfered with her capacity to be a parent, and she ran away from parenting to hide the feelings with a severe drug habit instead of working on her feelings of inadequacy.

Do you aspire to live through and overcome these diagnoses? Are you signed up for DBT? Do you have a personal committment to containing your symptoms, and not being abusive/affective to other people?

My brother is 'mentally ill' with a few labels but, they are all rooted in unresolved trauma, instead of treating the trauma he lives a sad and isolated life. I hope that DESPITE diagnoses and events that lead to diagnoses, you feel that you have the capacity to be neuroplastic and learn better ways of coping in life, than externalised behaviours.

As I have learned over my time that externalised behaviours are those which drive other people away, whereas to be open and vulnerable and, non-violent is what brings other people closer.

I write this as I feel my mother would qualify for an HPD diagnosis, in her mind she's a powerful little child expressing her emotions, thoughts and feelings but she uses people around her like toys and dolls. Favourite toys get played with often, bad toys get thrown far away until she torments them the next time to test if they want to play her game, with her. Does this make her a BAD PERSON? No, it makes her a very traumatised person whom has never resovled the traumas. But, it makes her an insufferable person and her compounded loneliness and drug abuse are a fairly horrifying reality as she approaches the age of 70 still living with the mental age of 12-16 years old.

I don't say this to pick on her nor you but to encourage the concept of healing from the root cause rather than feeling waylaid from the diagnosis - 15 years after a few diagnosis of my own, PTSD, anxiety, depression, substance abuse I have made a lot of progress and my life is actually HAPPY unlike the old days of only feeling defined by horrible experiences.

Hi @Sugarshack

I feel like your response implies that people with BPD and/or HPD are inherently abusive or affective to the people around them. It is unfortunate that the move to destigmatise mental health conditions does not seem to have extended to cluster b personality disorders.

I have been in therapy for 4 years because my experiences are most damaging to myself. I have never abused other people and my anger and feelings are often directed inwards at myself. I would not call myself insufferable, nor have I ever used or tried drugs.

All the therapy I've done has been self-referred. I paid $3000 of my own money to get the psych evaluation and get these diagnoses. I am committed to growth and healing and I think my presence on this forum alone is testament to that.

I am 20. I am currently studying to complete my degree. I just finished my exams actually! I am working several jobs and volunteering in several roles. I keep an active social life with several friend groups.

I think I am a kind person, or at least try to be in all my actions. I baby-talk to pigeons on the street. I catch bugs inside buildings and release them in grass outside. I volunteer with my local bushcare group. I help my sibling with their homework. I go op shopping so I can consume sustainably. I check-in on my friends. I buy people food if they are needing it.

Given I have received three new diagnoses of complex mental health issues within the past 2 weeks and the perception of people with cluster b personality disorders is highly stigmatised, portraying them as abusive, manipulative and affective towards other people, as you say, I think I have every right to have feelings about receiving these diagnoses.

Hello @Mothlet @Sugarshack,

I saw your discussion and wanted to jump in to share some thoughts. Firstly, thank you both for sharing your stories and experiences. Even when people have the same or similar diagnoses, they can live such different lives due to various factors (such as environmental, biological, personality, social groups, therapy, trauma, etc). I think the discussion you've had here perfectly highlights that, and I appreciate the time you've both taken to share and learn from each other.

@Sugarshack, it sounds like you've had a really rough experience as a child and sibling of someone who had these diagnoses. It's not always easy to understand people who have hurt us, but you've shown a lot of strength in doing so and taking control of your healing journey.

@Mothlet it looks like you've worked hard to keep multiple aspects of your life thriving (such as your social life, academic life, etc. Also congrats on finishing your exams!)
There's no doubt about your commitment to growth and healing too, great work on pushing through!

Sometimes we tend to make assumptions and generalisations based on our sole experience, however, it can be damaging and stigmatising at times. We appreciate the gentle reminder around how words can impact others @Mothlet. 😊