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Life goes on an on and on

Life goes on an on and on

Hi forumites (my favourite element on the periodic table)

Haven't posted in here for quite some time.

Wanted to share some things

Firstly our new digs is going well. There is always that risk that the landlord decides to boot us out but goven pur rapport with her and the fact its a provate contract and the fact she gets passive stable income from us this likelihood is small. I like our place a lot. And we have been very fortunate. Very very blessed even. Perhaps it's a sign from the universe that all is well.

My partner is going well. Work is a pain but that's how work goes I suppose doesn't it. It's a tough gig taking care of kids. Especially when the managers are lazy and employ their mates. Fortunately she has had some good ops come her way and has got to the next level of a bunch of interviews. Her ethic is the most important part of all this. It's hard. But we both know life is hard. As long as you have the right values and ethics then all fits and all else works out. Guess our place is an example of that. I'm proud of her and I love her so much.

Our love has grown a lot. We give each other the space when we need it but we give each other the time and support when it's needed too. My sister told me this before we went overseas. She could see it.

My partners sister will come to stay with us next week. She's here to learn more English and boost her skills. She will live in our spare room for a couple of months or maybe the whole time - work permitting. Looking forward to that too.

There is a bit of tension as of last night because my partnes mum is trying to organise a wedding celebration without us just to meet the expectations of the people around her that say she must celebrate with people around them. We had made a plan already for 2 years from now. But last night she dropped that bombshell on us and my partner was PISSED. Understandable ofc. So for now there is a bit of tension. But this is to be expected. I imagine there will be a smoothing over soon. But for now it's not nice. There is a whole reason for that ofc namely that my partnes mum is still reeling from the loss of their eldest daughter 20yearsago. The family culture in Turkey is very strong and ofc to have one daughter pass away and another move overseas is hard. But I'm praying for her heart. For her it's hard caught in all of it. My partner bates it. I get that. I see it from a greater angle I guess. Yes what she did was rude to us, but I'm not overly offended. But there is history of this with my partner and her mum. This is part of life and it's part of loving someone - you accept their history of grievances with family... I could say the same about my mum's side of the family... racist Bogans that they are lol....

I'm trying to lose weight. I put a lot on since starging my job because it's a sedentary role where I'm on my ass for 13hrs a day back to back. Gym is okay but it's soooooooooooooooooo boring. Got the bike fixed and put some road tyres on it only to find out last night that the dam thing is too small lol. But that's okay coz if bought my partner a bike off fb market and it's like 4 sizes bigger so it suits me really well. Haha. But I like it. Bren cycling in the bay near here and also around Olympic Park and centennial Park. Went yesterday and it was a beautiful day but a hard physical one. Still fun though hah. Good to get out. Speaking of I am looking at golf again. Gonna go range again a couple of times and take a lesson then maybe join some colleagues who play. looked at s new set only to realise the ones I have now are big enough. My legs got longer which is why it feels shorter. Just gotta put my knees into it more. Pop would be proud.

Speaking of, I miss him but he has come back into my life in other ways. Memories, quotes, values.. you name it.. Nan looks well too. She took some of his ashes to Wales and now part of him rests in the land of his father's under a tree. Also at his own grandfathers grave in Swansea. Circles like that complete themselves.

I applied to a think tank I didn't ever think I'd be good enough for when I was at uni. It was a bit of a milestone. I didn't get the job and I didn't expect to. But I'm glad they gave me the op to interview at least. That was good.

Right now I'm sitting in the antique sofa chair at the local Cafe. I'm watching everything take place around me. I'm grateful for so much of what I have. When so many don't have anything or anywhere near enough.

I hope you are well an life is treating you well. If not then I pray you'll find hope and strength in the things that have always helped you. We are all in this thing called life and none of us are islands, we are archipelagos that are connected between vast oceans. We are all drops in the ocean which seems like nothing but an ocean is nothing other than a multitude of drops.

9 replies

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In response to: Life goes on an on and on

Re: Life goes on an on and on

hey @MDT it's nice to hear from you. 'my favourite element on the periodic table' aww i love that!

sounds like there's been a lot of different things going on for you - and how cool is it that you got the opportunity to interview for that think tank, such a great milestone, well done!!!

the wedding stuff sounds tough. i can see both you and your partner's point of view, as well as your partner's mum's perspective - it's an important celebration for all of you in different ways. got my fingers crossed that you can all talk through it and work something out 😊

In response to: Re: Life goes on an on and on

Re: Life goes on an on and on

@TAB @Shaz51 @Appleblossom @BlueBay some regulars

In response to: Re: Life goes on an on and on

Re: Life goes on an on and on

@Bunniekins

In response to: Life goes on an on and on

Re: Life goes on an on and on

@MDT I had no clue, thought your partner was from Sth America. guess I missed that bit oops.

In response to: Re: Life goes on an on and on

Re: Life goes on an on and on

@MDT Thanks for the tag and letting us know what has been happening. You sound like you have a lot of wisdom bubbling along fueling your life, your outlook, and your biking. lol there are a lot of "...ites" on the periodic table. Great we rate!!!! lol

I do hope the situation regarding wedding and your partners family's expectations unfold well. You have am open attitude and there are so many assumptions in different cultures , with different values and traditions and particular histories. A bit of give and take both sides usually helps. Its good you respect the role of grief in their family and how that may impact their behaviours. Hope you and your partner finds the delicate path navigating all this.

Really good to hear more in depth.

apple

its alright you dont have to be the one doing the handstand. I cant! lol

Keep doing you.

In response to: Re: Life goes on an on and on

Re: Life goes on an on and on

Thank you for your update @MDT my friend 🧡

How are you going today

In response to: Re: Life goes on an on and on

Re: Life goes on an on and on

Cheers @Appleblossom

Yes it is a hard one. The hardest part might be letting go and not taking part... to quote Coldplay.

By which I mean seeing all that happen and not being able to help or assist. It appears my partners mums behaviour is still going and is effecting my partner. Last night I got home from work and her sister was on the phone and wasn't talking to any of us. My partner was in our room upset saying she felt ignored.

It seems that the culture places very high demands on people. So much expectation that is hard-wired into the mindset of Turkish parents. But especially those who are grieved. I hate the entire thing and last night I realised it'd be much easier to hate someone for having caused all of this.... but we can't. . Coz there is no one to hate. It's just a horrible no good thing that happened years ago and it still leaves its mark

My prayer is that mother in laws heart will heal and soften where it needs to but harden and be a force for good for those around her so she may stop hurting those whom she loves and love her. Her actions make it hard to love her. She was treated very poorly by her own family when their mum passed away and had her older sisters asking her for money at the funeral. Her mum had alzheimers and didn't even recognise the kids... even playing with a doll in front of them introducing the doll as her daughter... it was horrible.

What can I do? Text her and tell her daughters are safe here and going well. I did that. I got s message talking about all her daughters being far away. Only a dog to keep her company.

There is a heart in there and it's one that was hurt by the loss of her daughter. I saw that. I hugged her at the grave. She almost didn't want me to bit I persisted and I hope that moment is one that she remembers.

The deepest wounds are healed by time. It'll be the anniversary of her death in early Jan so it may take some time. I pray that God shows her mercy

There is a poem on her grave that gets me though...

Death took me early,
Grief descended on those I left behind.
I faded in my youth—
Pray for me when you stand here.
Even if I cannot be there myself,
You will read it on my grave.
My eyes remained on the road,
Waiting for what never came.
But do not cry over me—
Instead, remember me with mercy.

This part "my eyes remained on the road waiting for that which never came" hits me hard.

I guess I made a vow to her last time we were atthe cemetery. A vow that'd I'd do all I could to help these guys. This family. These people. My family too.


I found out yesterday that the owner of the coffee shop near my work has sold it. Good on him. He's been busting his gut. I'll miss chatting to him and I was originally bummed out by this. But this is life isn't it Apple? People come and go. Nothing lasts forever. Getting occasional freebies was great. It's probably thr only place in the city worth visiting.
I will text the guy today a bit longer as I was rushed yesterday. Whoever the new owner is will need to confute the same character of the place but let it grow into something else too I reckon.

Life aye ?

I'm glad I have the creative impulse. I like to think I live my life accordingly.

@Shaz51

In response to: Re: Life goes on an on and on

Re: Life goes on an on and on

Agree @MDT Life Aye!

So many challenges all round. Relationships and then come all complications of the family... and you have done your best for the mother and your partner.

The poem is beautiful and a good way to orient oneself.

Its great you had the good memories of the coffee shop ... watch how it changes .... change is as good as a holiday.

So many threads, branches and connections.

Good to hear from you Hans Solo

apple is going gently bently at the moment.

In response to: Re: Life goes on an on and on

Re: Life goes on an on and on

Gently Bently works @Appleblossom

Very under rated
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