Gday @lil_green_clock when you said the world GUILT it made me think this:
When you feel GUILTY it means you have promised some type of responsiblity that you are currently unable to fulfil, thats where GUILT comes in and says "you should be doing THIS which your mouth said you will do, but your body demands you need to do THAT which your flesh and bones need to do"
I do not have a partner but I have had a couple in the past, and my mum is extremely codependent/dependent personality who horribly influenced my own values in regards to overcaring for other people.
Without knowing or commenting on the specifics of your life, I reckon you PRIVATELY need to have good hard think about how much responsiblity you can truly handle, and what YOU need to do to stay level and prevent burnout/depression/etc.
I have watched my mum disappear into a ?shadow/vulture of other people's lives as she uses codependency to avoid her self loathing and shame.
I used to try to do codependency to my ex, he was a depressive and whinger, it spoiled our relationship as I tried to and did make him happy but it exhausted me. I miss him a lot and I wish that I had held onto the maturity of saying "well thats your life, you can play the victim and blame the world but ultimately you're responsible for what you get out of it and by the way I love you and lets go do something with me being me, and you being you, and if the relationship falls apart so be it".
Instead I tried to make him happy and I tried to keep us together by focusing more on him and less on me. In the end I was so tired, exhausted, devoid of myself it took a few years to recover. He is still a lazy depressive who drinks a lot, my life has come up roses and he's (still) a bit jealous of my success as he always responds to my social media. I figured out in hindsight he actually enjoyed feeling like a loser against my successes, and that fuels his drinking. I tried to get him to believe in himself, and quit drinking. Point of the story? You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.
So I am NOT advocating to break up or get dumped, but I am advocating to find your happiness, commit to it and the stronger and happier you are, the more your partner can reap the rewards of your success - but if you are burdened with guilt, he is going to become a heavy burden and drag you down the hole, and after I got dragged down my exe's hole of depression I do not recommend it. At the time it was easier to submit to being down the hole and harder to rise above it. Now I am nearly 10 years older I think, what an idiot I was to go down to his level for the sake of "love" but, I learned a lot and I wish i had been smart enough not to follow him, but that chapter of life was breaking codependency and now, a codependent man has been ringing and texting me because he is bored and wants someone to "care about his life" ....I am smart enough to say "can you take me out somewhere nice to actually have a conversation?" Well, he didn't bother to do that, he tried the texting/calling thing another couple of days...I just ignored it, CBF going on my phone to validate a whingeing old man and, voila he has stopped trying to waste my time and I notice he did not dip in his pocket and take me somewhere nice because, like me he is very busy with his own life and he just wants someone to validate him. Sayonara old man, I don't have anyone to validate my every waking moment so he doesn't get that for free, from me, and where I was excited to maybe get another boyfriend I breathe a sigh of relief to have dodged a bullet.
All the best, raise your head high and every day make 3 achievable goals for the day, and do 6 actions which feed into improving YOUR LIFE FOR YOU. Keep talking, keep reaching out but don't drown under someone elses depression.
