The sun is shining and it doesn't matter

to top all of this off, I also struggle with severe trichotillomania aswell. Ive been pulling so much, and its impacting on my self esteem in a huge way. does anyone else struggle with trich here?

@fruitisgood

Hi, I had to look up trichotillomania to be honest. My friend has a daughter who has that. She leaves big bloody bald spots on her head. My friend tries to bribe her not to do it by promising hair colours. She likes pink. My friend will say to her no pulling or no scratching when she notices her doing it. I guess it's harder if you don't have anyone to verbally remind you not to do it.

I am sorry that you didn't get the response you were hoping for from the helpline. When I contacted one I didn't really get anything helpful either. I am not saying that they are not helpful at all, just that if you know what you want they are trained to say certain things and it is probably not the response you are looking for. I am sorry things are so bad at the moment. It is really hard when you are feeling hopeless. I am sitting with you and am here for you. Things can improve. I used to be in a really hopeless position too and now things are really good. There is hope.

Hey @fruitisgood I'm sorry to hear you're surfing the waves of numbness and anhedonia. Loss of a sense of joy or desire is one of the hardest things to experience in my books. That feeling of disconnection and apathy can be so excruciating, and I'm sorry that you're sitting in that space right now.

To give you a little idea of what might be going on when you're reaching out for support - many 'brief intervention' roles (i.e. those on helplines) where the MH worker is not having an ongoing relationship with someone, are trained in a strengths-based, solution-focused style. From what you've said, it sounds like you need to be held in your grief and pain, not told how to 'fix' it or told that you're 'doing well despite it all' - even if those things are positives, and maybe worth focusing on at some point, it's okay to feel like that's not what you need right now.

We all deserve validation and reassurance, and honestly I can say from experience that feeling heard and understood in our pain, and in a way that is that focused on right here, right now, can be really powerful. And like...yeah, if there's too much focus on some nebulous future that feels out of reach, it can feel very misattuned, even painful, and sometimes even perpetuate feelings of shame that we don't feel able to 'solve' our feelings.

It's so valid to feel a sense of frustration, and also valid to tell MH workers who are supporting you that you don't need solutions or positive angles, you just need to feel heard.

As for trichotillomania, funnily enough this came up in a conversation I was having recently on the forums! If you feel up to it, you're more than welcome to create a thread centred on this topic, as there may be a few people around who can relate to it. I used to have it mildly myself, and now my shins are half-bald even a decade later 😅

It's tough when it's an experience that's not often spoken about, but maybe you can kick start the conversation! Up to you 💜

@Jynx

I just wanted to say that I really liked your response to @fruitisgood

Yes people on helplines have particular training which is recovery oriented and strengths based. However I really liked what you said about validation. Validation is so important and cannot be overrated.

Bless @Oaktree you are always so kind 💜

@Oaktree Thankyou for that validation. I am glad to hear youre in a better place too

@Jynx Its comforting to know Im not alone in how I feel about utilising support lines. They can be good and have helped me but sometimes they just dont quite scratch that itch.

As for the trich thing, if I were to do that where would be the best discussion to write about it?

Hiya @fruitisgood - if you use the 'Start new discussion' button at the top of the page you can create a new thread for trich! This space is probably a good fit, but Recovery Club is also a good spot to chat about this topic I reckon!

There's instructions for making a new post in this How-To thread (thanks @Oaktree 😁)