Shift83Senior Contributor
I can’t see clearly the rains still here.
Hi Everyone.
Hope your as well as you can be.
just wanted to get some things off my chest.
I’m coming up to 7 months sober in around three days to be honest. I’m not really thinking about it anymore and I was drinking every day for over 20 years. Don’t get me wrong there are some really challenging times, and to be honest I think one day I may drink again. But for now it’s just trying to beat the addiction.
every psychiatrist always blamed my mental health problems on my drinking. I guess it’s which comes first. The chicken or the egg type scenario well now I’m seven months sober. My mental health doesn’t really seem to have improved. In fact I’m more irritable. I’m having worse Dreams, my sleep is shit always angry, and nothing makes me happy expect for the problem I’m wanting to talk about and that’s gambling.
I have kicked a lot of addictions to the curb in my life but gambling has taken a stronghold. Now I have stopped drinking obviously it’s my brain searching for a dopamine hit elsewhere and that’s what I think the problem is. I’m addicted to dopamine because no matter how much I win I keep going whether it’s a winning feeling or losing feeling. I’m just chasing some feeling to feel alive.
It really is a love hate relationship. I saw my family just spend their money. Never owned a house. Never owned anything. Just throw away money. Not even really sure why I’m writing any of this I just needed to get it off my chest.
I do understand the psychology behind gambling and dopamine, and I think that’s what makes me more pissed off because I understand But even if it’s self-destructive it makes me feel alive. People say try jujitsu MMA boxing parachuting it will give you an adrenaline rush. Sure it will give me an adrenaline rush but it’s not at my fingertips