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Done

Elusive_fairyContributor14 Nov 2025, 8:54 pm AEDT

Done

An update.

Turns out, my long term partner cheated on me for 2 years. I had no idea.

It turned into severe emotional abuse. I have never been so confused, scared, and hopeless.

I left him just over a month ago. I had to sneak in while he was at work, move out all my belongings, before blocking him on everything.

His housemate, who turned out to be his ex all along, helped him cover it up and enabled him.

I am at a complete loss of how to process this. There is so much I found out, that made me sick to my stomach. He got someone else pregnant while with me. When the woman tried to warn me, I was gaslit as he denied everything and claimed she was crazy. I know, classic. This housemate/ex told me to not engage with this "crazy" woman. She was truthful all along.

I can't escape this. Nothing helps. I'm free, and it makes no difference. My life is a permanent joke.

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In response to: Done

Elusive_fairyContributor27 Nov 2025, 6:39 pm AEDT

Re: Done

Thank you @tyme for reading my rambles! I do have moments where it just depresses me, but the more days that go by, the more thankful I am. Every day I realise how much better I feel in every way. The worst part was being unaware of the constant betrayal and lies for so long.

But looking back, I remember the gut feelings I ignored and passed off as anxiety. The strange signs he normalised so easily. As traumatic as it's been, I'm eternally glad to have learned so much. At least we weren't married with kids for 10+ years, as the plan was meant to be. The one gut feeling I couldn't ignore was to NOT fully move in. It honestly felt like a spiritual force was physically holding me back, like the universe wouldn't allow it. Such an insanely visceral feeling, I know if I somehow managed to ignore it, I would've ended up in a dire situation.

As for healing, I've been reconnecting with old and new friends, finally doing things for myself. Doing what I want without guilt, and allowing myself to journal and be vulnerable. Every day I focus on gratitude and appreciation for things previously taken for granted. I am able to thank myself for not allowing myself to be trapped in a truly horrific relationship. I'm proud of myself for having the courage and dignity to leave, despite crippling codependency and abuse. Holding on to the little strength that was left and walking away, when I lost myself almost entirely. The hardest thing I've ever done. Overall I'm so proud to let go and be happy with the little things. My chronic pain is gone, I can sleep again, I am at peace.

In response to: Re: Done

tymeModerator28 Nov 2025, 6:23 pm AEDT

Re: Done

We can only do what we can @Elusive_fairy . People can't expect more.

It can be hard at the best of times. I'm hearing that life can thrown curve balls. At the same time, what does your ideal life look like? Then, do you think are some of the steps to get there?

Some days, just getting out of bed can be an achievement.

Can you think of your achievements for today?

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