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Struggling a bit

Struggling a bit

Hi all,

First time I've contributed here. Just needed to share as I'm supporting two people, my mum and my aunty, (and my dad who comes to me as his first port of call when mum's not going well) who are going through some difficult mental health issues and it's feeling like a bit much right at this moment.

Mum- over the years has had depression and at times gets very low and shuts off. She refuses to talk to anyone, in fact she has always refused to talk to anyone when she gets depressed for as long as I remember (I'm now 48). She is also a gambler- who has lost a lot over the years. She currently in a low place- very depressed, refusing help, suicidal- not sure when but she will. Tells me she's got nothing to live for. Says she has felt like this for a long time. Won't talk. Won't see a doctor. Has shut dad out. I just don't know what to do.

Aunty- currently has PTSD psychosis- very paranoid and schitzophrenia symptoms, also refuses any help from professionals. I think I'm getting somewhere with her one day, then the next she starts talking from her paranoia.

I don't think anyone is going to be able to help, but I'm just struggling a bit and needed to get it out there.

5 replies

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In response to: Struggling a bit

Re: Struggling a bit

Hi @Junee and welcome to the forums

Reading about how you care for both your mum and your aunty (and your dad too when he comes to you about mum), my main thought was how much that is to hold and how heavy that load must get sometimes. It can be a hard position to be in supporting loved ones, and even harder when you're their main source of support.

I can also hear how scary it must be with the feelings of hopelessness your mum has been expressing to you lately. Is this something that you've been able to talk to your dad about so that he can be keeping an eye on things when you're not around?

And I'm wondering, with all of these loved ones leaning on you, do you have any supports that you've been able the lean on lately?

In response to: Re: Struggling a bit

Re: Struggling a bit

Hi @Junee

So sorry to hear about the heavy load that you have been carrying. It sounds like a lot for anyone to contend with. You might need to assess the risk of suicide with your Mum. Ask her questions about intent, intensity, means and any plans. If you think she is at serious risk imminently then you need to get some outside help involved. You could have her call lifeline 13 11 14 or the Suicide Call back service 1300 659 467. If she refuses you can call 000 or take her to the nearest emergency department at a hospital.

Having more issues to deal with your Aunty as well is extra difficult. It is important to implement some self-care for yourself. You can't pour from an empty cup.

I just want to welcome you to the forums and let you know that we are here if you need to chat. Just tag me. You can tag someone by using the @ symbol and then type their name without a space.

In response to: Struggling a bit

Re: Struggling a bit

Hi @Junee thank you for sharing. I think support for carers, or really anyone who is human, is important, especially as you mentioned you're supporting multiple people at the moment. It sounds like you are trying to be there for others, and like you said "it's feeling like a bit much right at this moment" - do you have a sense of what your own needs are as you're going through this?

In response to: Struggling a bit

Re: Struggling a bit

Hi there,

Sounds like you've got a lot on your plate at the moment. It is hard to support who aren't interested in seeking medical support.

If this is at all helpful I have some resources that might be good for you and your aunt. If you are 25 or younger the Satellite foundation have support programs for young carers. If you are over 25 I'd recommend Carers Gateway, they have some great support and skill building services.

If your aunt would be at all amenable I would recommend somewhere that has Hearing Voices or Unusual Experiences groups. I know that Uniting church offer them in Victoria but I'm not sure about interstate. They are completely peer led non-medical group for those who hear voices or experience reality differently to those around them.

Wishing the best for you, good on you for reaching out and getting the thoughts out. I hope you find all the support you need ❤️

In response to: Re: Struggling a bit

Re: Struggling a bit

Thank you for the replies. You all had some great ideas and support.
things have settled, both mum and aunt have improved a lot.

Just writing my thoughts here helped when I was feeling overwhelmed. which was a massive help.

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