just when i thought things were on the up... or at least stable.. then BAM!!

Hi #blue_wren,

Saw your post and couldn't see any replies so here I am. This is my first post. Not sure what to write.

I'm wondering did it help to write things down?

Ah!

I used to be like that... I used to be terrified of thought that what would other people think of me when I didn't carry out as per what I thought were their expectations... Performance anxiety I had... silly little thing... once you are aware of it, and you know you are just as fallible as anyone else, you will be fine... it might take some time to get used to it, and you can start by saying out loud that you are just feeling is anxiety... and it will go away!

Your psychologist is just a person like you, and you don't have to accomplish new goals every week! ...Psychologists are trained in thought/feeling science and they don't judge people like normies do!!!.. So be yourself and try to report as it has been...!

Thanks @Realness for replying to me! Not sure how it feels to write (type) it out, but i thought it couldn't hurt to try it 🙂

@blue_wren I found the typing easier than the talking when I first joined sane, a long time ago. I am pretty good at talking now but the typing helped. One frequent comment I make when asked about how I am, life is up and down, or choppy seas, or use metaphors to describe it so I can be truthful without necessarily going into detail. I wave my hand up and down and I might seem cheery or friendly, but it is my way of reminding myself that life and my emotions ebb and flow. It kind of lets me include the negative and challenges and keeps room for good things. Maybe I am scared to believe that things will ever be totally good. Anyway, just saying hello.

Hey @SchizOttie @Realness

another of my sayings is

gently bently

apple

@blue_wren this is actually a really common thing with certain mental health medications. Your psychologist would have learned about this in their training and likely has had a lot of practical experience with other people who have had the same problem. The idea of a lot of these medications is they have a huge effect about 4-8 weeks in and then there is a bit of a drop. This is actually the ideal time to mention struggles to a psychologist, because they can often teach you strategies to help cope with this drop.

Do you have a psychiatrist or GP monitoring this medication? They can explain in more detail how your medication works and explore what is the best dosage is for you.

@Ruby26 I have a GP managing my medications on the recommendaiton of a community psychologist provided by the public health system during my last PECC visit. I question this though, as I understand our health system is based around a medical model. Rarely is a holistic approach taken into consideration, and it's largely crisis management rather than thinking of the longer term solutions or even looking into the cause. Treat the symptoms as they are in 'this moment' which i do understand. However, from an outcomes perspective and a prevention method, I wish that there was more access to support to manage and determine the underlying factors in order to prevent crisis, or at least reduce the amount of time in between crisis and management.

My psychologist emphasised with me the last visit that I am *always* going to come across these 'bumps' as life changes constantly. And that instead of being surprised by when it happens, i should reframe it to expect it to happen, and 'train myself' for better crisis management when it inevitably does. While I respect this response, I still go back to my point of the accessibility of support when I'm not in crisis is financially difficult, I pay privately, and we get 10 sessions per year on the subsidy plan. That stretches out to one a month (plus maybe two extra) - and most psychologists want you to commit to once a week for the best results to prevent a crisis following. It's just not possible.

Anyhows.. I'm retraining my brain to expect these blips, and trying to put my skills into use when they inevitably do happen. But it's still hard. It's like approaching things from a deficit base, instead of a strength approach. It feels very grim to know something will come up and knock me about and it's up to me to manage it.

@blue_wren yes, the health system is based on the medical model. I can understand why it is difficult to afford the private system. The out-of-pocket costs for me seeing my private psychiatrist are higher than my fortnightly income. Your psychologist is being unfair if they are charging more than you can afford and then telling you the sessions must be weekly for "best results". Some psychologists are much better than others with understanding the practical side of being on a low income, it could be worth considering seeing someone else.

Sane have some supports that are free of charge. Have you looked into those before? They have a group peer support program and one on one sessions with a peer worker or counsellor.

There are a lot of free and low-cost resources that could be helpful. Let me know if you would like some support brainstorming ideas.

Hey @Ruby26 it's that time again it seems. I was just re-reading my post. For context I came on here tonight to post for connection, and thought 'oh why not read what I've posted before... It actually helped me a little to see there's a pattern for me, and has reminded me somewhat that this is a blip that inevitably will pass, even though it's painful to sit through right now.

I have accessed the SANE supports before, but I feel like the phone-calls ended without closure - perhaps they are meant to? I remember the counsellor saying that I could do with a couple more calls, but they never happened.

Is it possible to speak with someone again?

Hey @blue_wren 💖

I just wanted to stop by to let you know that you can absolutely access more appointments. If you login to your recovery club portal, you may even have access to booking in with someone new as part of our new program: https://www.sane.org/recovery-club

I am sorry you didn't get the closure you needed, let's change that. 🫶

thanks @AuntGlow

That sounds hopeful. I see the referrals have since closed though. I will keep checking back