DID diagnosis and recovery

Hi @JCT it's very brave of you to share your story.

I don't have a lot of information about this topic, but I think it's common for people with DID to feel a lot of shame and find it difficult to accept and share their diagnosis.

I think the general guidance for treatment is a fairly long first phase which is called stabilisation and this is dependent on the therapeutic alliance, because trust is a big issue.

Sorry I can't answer your questions really.

I think there is a huge range in "presentations" for people with DID

Hi @JCT,

I really liked your post.

I think all complex mental conditions are hard to accept. It's not just the diagnosis but the medication and side effects that come with it. Especially if life was really simple and good and busy before a traumatic event.

It took me over ten years to accept the label they put on me. Unlike you I'm not brave enough to put it in writing here. I now accept lifetime medication and accept lifetime lethargy. I think it's important to accept and be honest with the reality of life impacted by a complex mental condition. Often people want it to be better than the reality. And be very kind and gentle with self.

I don't know if this helps - probably not specific enough - but I wanted to reply.

@JCT

I relate to your post. It took me forever to realise how much my suppressed trauma and self imposed shame as a result of all the trauma got to me. I found most people see DID in relation to the horror movies about it that are far from accurate. Or shows like United States of Tarra show splitting in the extreme and isnt that close to my experiences.

I have to go for an appointment I will respond more later.

@JCT ok. I didn't want to lose what I had written before, and I was running late and knew I would lose my tack of thought. Sorry.

Anyway.

I find most dont understand the day to day of complex trauma, even so many therapists make assumptions and dont listen to our experiences. Saying that I had a really good therapists that helped me unpack my different modes and provided a really safe space for me to share my experiences. I felt heard and understood, all of me's were given a voice and that process helped pave a way to a more healed adult self.

The journey may be lifelong, but dont lose heart. I amused to find periods of stagnation complicated and worthless for not making progress. But try to reframe it as consolidation, which is vital to every step of the journey. You are putting into practice what you have been learning and finding ways to live out your progress, no matter how insignificant it may seem, we need time to sit with the parts of growth and growing pains and times of rest is important.

That’s for the responses. @The-red-centaur
it’s very hard not to feel disheartened by progress particularly when I feel like this could be so much easier if I was able to own my experience. I just do not know how to get there and wonder if I will get there. I wonder also, if part of the impact with progress is feeling like at some point the therapist will say… hey we have to call it, you are getting nowhere. Does that resonate for you at all.

@JCT I always felt I was letting therapist down. I had to realise they were working for me, and not the other way around.

I had to want healing and recovery, for me, and not anybody else. I used to show up because I thought that was expected and its what you have to do. I went to therapy, took the meds, etc because I felt obligated.

Doing it for me never felt like a good enough reason, but over time I began to go because I learnt I deserved better than i had been treated (especially than the ways i treated myself), therapy no longer became a chore, the work wasnt as hard and i had compassion on myself, all of my parts, and for the first time compassion for the parts of myself I hated.

I no longer felt like I had to do it for everyone else, I was good enough, and not just good enough for anybody, I was good enough for me.

Therapy isnt about pleasing the therapist or just showing up, going through the motions, and then going home exhausted. It is finding the courage to listen to ourselves and give space for the parts that dont have a voice, (thats what i neede anyway)

Finding your own path forward is important. Your traumas and your life is unique for you, and your recovery will be too.

Dont be disheartened by the path ahead, you have probably already come so far. Forging new paths takes time, a small track wont become a freeway because we want it be, its a lot of shitty roadworks and lots of traffic to even get there.