Do you struggle to shower too?

@Bow I've also struggled with this. First off, I'm sorry that you feel ashamed, there is nothing to be ashamed off, the people on Tic Tok are being judgemental and clearly don't understand mental health issues. I think it would be valuable for you to learn to have compassion for yourself rather than shame. I understand this can be difficult. And I know someone who has gone over six months without a shower. You are NOT alone in this struggle.

During a mental health crisis, personal hygiene goes out the window for me. The best I can realistically hope for is to get into the bathroom and change clothes every few days, with at attempt to step into the shower (which may not lead to actually getting clean). I've had issues with fungal skin infections because of this: if this ever happens to you, there are over the counter skin treatments that can fix this. The idea of fungal infections sound yuk, but I've always been able to easily treat them once the mental health crisis is over.

Even when I'm out of crisis mode, I still find it hard to shower every day, so I aim for every second day. I find having a routine and an alarm set can be helpful. Showering is literally always on my to do list for the day, sometimes it gets done and sometimes it doesn't. Clean underwear and putting deodorant on twice a day can help reduce the need to shower.

Here is an app I use to help with my executive function. This lists some good suggestions both to help you shower and what to do when showering gets too much: I need another solution

Executive functioning issues are what causes this struggle. It may help you to research executive functioning so that you understand this better. You can find a lot on You Tube by content creators who struggle with personal hygiene due to executive dysfunction. This is a common issue with: ADHD, autism, depression, C-PTSD and schizophrenia, so it can help to look for content made by people with these disabilities/conditions. NOT saying you have one or more of these things, just that you should find the executive dysfunction struggles relatable. Please see a clinical psychologist or a psychiatrist if you want to get assessed for any diagnosis.

@Bow I struggle to shower too. I get the pain of seeing yourself in the mirror so I turn my back to it. I shower most nights, but not always, before I go to work the next day. That’s because I feel obligated too. It’s so hard to make myself get in though. So much self talk and so much pressure. I may just stand under the water though. I also shower after mowing the lawn but that’s only because I’m allergic to grass so I have to get it off me before my skin gets itchy and breaks out in a rash.

On my days off I can’t bring myself to get in. I can go the whole break without showering once. As for washing my hair, that doesn’t happen very often. It’s too much effort. I don’t know how to convince myself to get in on my days off.

My psych said to try and get in when I wake up if a morning. Do it first thing. She also said it doesn’t matter if you use soap just getting in under the water can help. But I just can’t seem to be able to do it. She knows about my hygiene habits and is very supportive of it. I am lucky with her as I can tell her anything without judgement or pressure.

So I’m sorry but I have no tips just that you aren’t alone.

Its a common problem @Bow I have had this issue on occasion in the past but not anymore. You can buy shower wipes from Amazon, not the Wet Ones brand as they are not for all over body use. Get the ones that they use in hospitals as they work better than the other brands. Check reviews to guide you as some brands are better than others. They use them in ICU's to wipe patients. You can just wipe yourself as you lay in bed. I saw a post by a person with bipolar a while back and she uses dry shampoo when she can't wash her hair. People can be so cruel. But if they know how painful and disabling MI is they wouldn't go around hurting people because they can't shower. They show no insight, no compassion and no care. Just get your wipes love and you will be ok. Ignore these horrendous people. I have them in case of a water outage! ❤️

Hey @Bow

I definitely struggle with showering and it's definitely worse when my mental health isn't good. There was a point this year where my hygiene impacted me so bad that it contributed to me spending a few days in hospital (physical health reason).

One of the barriers for me showering is that it takes me ages to wash and dry my hair. And shower caps are a sensory nightmare for me. Showering also involves SO many steps, more than we actually acknowledge. I've got to think about whether it's "hair washing night", what I will wear after the shower, whether I've got a clean towel ready, am I going to shave etc. It takes more brain power than we realise.

I've heard some people say they use baby wipes to just give themselves a wipe down when they are really struggling. Next step up from that might be things like a wash cloth and some dry shampoo. Sometimes I use trusted people as an accountability buddy so that I have someone to externally motivate me to shower.

I'm so glad you posted this, because this is SO real ♥️

Thanks folks for responding. I really appreciate it and I do recognise that it is something that a fair few folks with mental health concerns do struggle with.

I do use wipes and have given the dry shampoo a go, but find the dry shampoo build up makes my head itch… guess that makes me wash my hair then! Washing my hair can be rather distressing cause I’ve been going through a period of time with significant hair loss.

there are so many decisions to be made in getting myself in the shower… so yes very much relate. Shave. Hair wash. What to put on after.

I think perhaps I also struggle with a bit of claustrophobia, my shower in our new place is rather boxy. There ain’t much room to turn around in. And with the horrible weight I’ve put on I feel it very much.

I kinda like the idea of an accountability partner. BUT I feel so embarrassed about this. I already have my SW/ and other SW there, checking in on me daily regarding another matter that’s really personal and embarrassing. I just feel so pathetic.

@0ddsidian @SmilingGecko @Captain24 @SchizOttie @Ruby26

Its not you @Bow if you were able to take care of yourself you would the same with other people with physical illnesses who can't wash. I wish other people who don't know what theyre talking about just shut up. My friend used to have a worker from the council wash her that was before NDIS. She had hip replacement and all kinds of disablement. During holidays when workers weren't available I would wash her. I cared about my friend. I had another person I used to know get washed through NDIS. I don't know if NDIS is for you but you sound as if you need supports in place. I could not get NDIS as the application involved primary disability causing people to have the main things they required because of it when my secondary disability, CFS was creating all the issues. Don't know if the application process has changed but it was almost impossible to get NDIS when it was first rolled out.

It’s really hard to get my head around the fact that I am sometimes so unwell that I need help to do such basic things like personal hygiene. Like I can’t comprehend that. It greatly saddens me

hey @Bow I also never used to have issues with showering but recently I have noticed the feeling creeping in ever so slowly of dreading the shower experience. While I cant personally relate to the more 'severe' cases expressed here (I hope that term is appropriate to use) as I often get about 2 days in before I bathe, it is still a change from my usual routine which is twice daily.

Ive found a few things that help - boring stuff but prioritising. Pits and Bits. - I usually dont wash my whole body but I always try to get these areas if nothing else.

I light a candle and shower in the dark. Music / ambience music too if I remember. The lower level of stimulation, but still enough to not get bored and inside my head, does help.

I often sit down in the shower too, and will also put on a shower cap and let the water wash over my head so it sounds like white noise.

I try to treat it as a more relaxing place rather than a chore, and personally night time is a good time for me too. Although early morning showers when the sun is still rising are also lovely.

As Ive seen from all the kind comments here, youre not alone in this.

Keep up the practice of self compassion ♡