Trauma and social skills

@tyme thanks for your input. I'm also a much stronger writing than speaker. Interestedly, my writing ability has continued to improve at a steady rate post-trauma but my verbal comprehension has fallen further and further behind. I don't seem to be able to make the leap into translating writing into social situations. I've found I'm able to learn public speaking, but it needs to be done in my own way.

I'm looking for a face-to-face support group right now. Is there anywhere you can recommend? I have done group therapy before but I'm no longer eligible for any of the free services and many therapy groups are so expensive.

I'm quite open to trying new things. The trouble is I can't seem to read the difference between safe behaviour and warning signs that mean I need to protect myself from a person at extracurricular activities.

@AlwaysMyself based my feedback from my family, from therapists, feedback from job interviews, widespread rejection from neurotypical people and a pattern of trouble maintaining relationships with other neurodivergent people- I would say my social skills are problematic. My partner and their close friends and my best friend think there is nothing wrong with my social skills though.

I am autistic and it is complicated to be able to tell the difference between autism and trauma struggles in myself, so it must be very hard to tell this in other people. In my case the trauma happened at the age of 11 and I've had psychological testing done before and after the trauma, so that has given me some clues about what is autism and what is trauma. I don't see the autistic way of being as a problem, it is the impact of trauma that is the issue for me

Actually, come to think of it, as my written communication continues to improve, I have found I'm also getting worse at speaking too! But I have to say that I have improved in getting out there and having the confidence to reach out socially in the first place! Progress over perfection I'd day!

If you aren't part of the Recovery Club already, you may be interested in https://www.sane.org/recovery-club These are free group sessions. Some prefer to type in the chat, others speak without camera and others are happy to speak with camers. I guess it may be something you are work towards?

I also believe medicare covers 10 group sessions as well as 10 individual sessions. Not sure if you've looked into this.

My group sessions were part of an MBT program which was funded by the government. I don't know any other group programs which specialise in trauma or anything.

Hi @Ruby26

I found that socialising to be a challenging experience due to early trauma. Initially, I attempted to imitate what I thought was the normal behaviour of my peers, which came at the expense of the reality of my identity. That was a lonely and debilitating experience.

What helped was forging my identity into one that was an acceptable public persona. By being at peace with my past and being able to express it ambivalently, it allowed me to be internally stable and integrated. It also allowed people to be comfortable with what and who I am. I have found that people are comfortable with another's suffering if it is expressed in a manner that is calm and integrated.