should I just suck it up and deal with it?

Hey @chupachubs_25
Welcome to the forums!

It sounds like you’ve been in a really tough spot at work, especially when you’re not feeling well and still being made to feel like you have to show up. That would be exhausting and disheartening, especially when it feels like your effort and wellbeing aren’t being acknowledged.

Having your friend as your manager must make it even harder, that mix of friendship and work boundaries can get messy really fast. I can totally understand why you’d be feeling resentful and unsure about what to do next.

I’m wondering, what kind of support or understanding would make you feel more respected and valued in your workplace right now, either from your manager/friend or from the job itself?
The community is here to listen and support 🙂

Thank you for taking the time to read and even respond!

I think i have standard(?) Where i value people over other things like tasks, work, etc. So maybe it's an expectation i have that people, especially friends, would so the same. So to be heard and then thought of as more important than filling a role is what I expect.

So not being made to feel that i need to do something and to be heard for what I've said.

I feel that I've already stated multiple times to them, but again doesn't feel like they consider what I say but see it as more of an inconvenience- which really hurts.

I'm scared to bring it up again in fear of what people will think of me -deem me a bad person/worker.

So yeah, just to actually be heard and listened to. Acknowledge that my words about my health are not suggestions but truth.

hi @chupachubs_25

my take on being in similiar situations and a big factor is the why your working with your friend as in who is helpimg who because that matters,

if you dont need the income & you have gone in because mate asked for your help then you have the right to pull them up and say im not coming in sorry let me know if still need a hand on whatever day your going back. also you dont know if pressure was applied on other staff or do you?

if you asked him for the job well they are a manager that will play the i helped you out card

& need your help on this which i personally wou;d cop if i valued the job opportunity.

( im not a Dr dont know how sick you are

i would let them know when i thought they were taking piss also.

on the other hand i have helped a lot of fellas get casual work and your actually working under his reputation and if other staff realise thiers a connection they are pressured to be hard on you yo a degree or deal with politics of other staff making claims of favotitism etc.

Feeling dismissed when offering a sugestion if our opinion isnt asked for is pretty much part of the process in most industries its how its done that depends on wether or not to make noise about it, also it may be you just werent heard i dont know could be many factors least being the one we come up with.

if you think its that good an idea and not too big a task do it anyway if it proves affective cool if it doesnt then maybe they did hear you 😁

if your anything like me it sounds like your taking it more personal because its your friend if you take that out of the equation then its just my managers an asshole which will happen if they are over worked and under supported themselves.

i was taught if im not earning im spending and if im sick i dont want to spend a day off work in my bed im going in if im able too very rarely is a sick day from being actually sick and very commonly taken on or before long weekend once i prove myself.

i dont even know your age or experience and have assumed your a bit younger sorry if im wrong i hope you find a way to cummunicate before rumenation fills you with destructive thoughts.

Do you need this job? Can you find one where you aren’t employed by someone you know? Because from the outside it sounds like they’re taking advantage of your connection to corner you into doing things you already have said no to.

I think that’s why sometimes people say it can be hard working with family or friends - they expect more from you because you ‘owe’ them for getting you a job

Gday I regret to be the voice of potential conflict but, it seems to me that this relationship has very blurred boundaries that are making the situation difficult probably for both of you.

1. Do you think the relationship has changed now, that you both have moved from "friends of a short time" into "employer and employee" relationship?

2. Do you truly value the workplace situation and recognise that your friend has to deal with responsibilities which have obligations and repercussions outside of 'being a friend to my friend'....because your friend has to manage the business fairly and responsibly, and in the workplace there's not much if any time for friendship because, in WORK you just have to get the job done and get your hands dirty/do the heavy lifting/choose if you are too sick to work then you might be too sick to keep the job, because at the end of the day work is about being able to do the job that is required of you, and your boss is not a friendship role they are a person who allocates responsibility and makes you uphold it OR they allocate the sack and find someone else who will do the responsibility thing.