Hi @Shirazchurch
Don't think we've talked before so nice to meet you.
Well done for reaching out and getting help. Hopefully beyond blue and mindspot can help in your healing.
I totally understand your words about trying to make friends. It is something I really struggle with too. If talking to someone I get so anxious and normally just try and get out of there as quickly as possible. At the moment, I have no friends in real life.
Are there any social groups around where you live? Anything run by the local council at all? Might be worth trying a search. I know it may be really daunting walking into a room full of strangers, but it might be a good starting point.
Perhaps it might be about starting small. Just inviting one person out for coffee. Just working on one relationship and see how you go.
This is where I have found the Sane forums helpful. I have been able to make some friendships on here. I find it is easier to connect with people.
I know it's not the same as connecting with people in real life. I know that I still need to try and make friends outside of here. However at this stage in my recovery, I am finding it quite helpful.
It can be really hard to navigate the outside world. To try and connect with others when we have so much happening in our lives.
I will question you when you said that you're the one that's made the mistakes. Yes perhaps you've made a few mistakes, but maybe it's about those people too. Perhaps they made some mistakes along the way too. All I'm trying to say is maybe it's not all your fault. They might have played a part too.