Relationships and schizophrenia

It is fantastic that your son is out and about productive and somewhat social.

Young men are often egocentric with low empathy .. sorry guys but ...

The girlfriend already realises your son experiences MH issues. I doubt you have any more responsibility to her. You may not know her weak spots as well as you know your sons.

She must have her own reasons in her own personal history and psyche for being attracted to him.

I knowingly took up with a man with schizophrenia, and although the marriage only lasted 16 years, and tho it ended up being horrible for me, I cant say I regret it.

I also am walking a fine line with my son and his relationships .. as I met her first .. at first I told him off a couple of times in front of her ... but then I realised she was taking advantage of my sympathy .. so had to even it up again ...

All we can do is try and act with love and honesty .. if we can also add a little humilty and humour it helps.

This young girl was attracted to the relationship I had with my son .. as we had silly jokes and did a bit of a punch and judy mother and son act .. just as a way of passing the time ... and not always being D&M.

I also know another young couple who are oddly paired .. in that she has fantastic job and he does not .. but they complement each other well in other ways.

They have to make their own futures .. with mistakes and successes.

It is truly a big feat for your son to be out & about. celebrate that above all .. the relationships are up to them ..

I shocked my sons gf once .. and said in frustration .. why cant you go to the pub and sort it out like "normal" people ...she hates alcohol .. she also knows I hate the concept of normal people ..and I had been very healing to her ... but I also did not want to be drawn in or blamed for their relationship issues ...

Good Luck.

hello @Gemima

I am unable to provide much help but can let you know that I have read your words. You have explained your concerns and I have to say I would be feeling exactly the same as you if I were in that situation.

I have an adult son in his 30's diagnosed the same. He also has paranoia. He has left the state and only contacts his dad and lately myself once when in need of money. He hides contact details and where he is from us.

He is not receiving any medical help or medication. He believes that he is well. The voices are telling him to be wary of just about everyone. His paranoia has heightened since I spoke to him last in November last year.

Your son is taking medication and is managing to work and have a reasonable quality of life. This is inspiring to read and well done to him and yourself for both of you getting to where you are.

Does he have a regular psychiatrist treating him., checking his medication as well?

If this is the case, I am hoping that it is because he really does need to be monitored for medication adjustments and general questions of wellbeing. He would be regulating his own health in this way, important for him.

Perhaps a visit with the psychiatrist with the three of you could be discussed first with the psychiatrist to get approval, then however the psychiatrist suggests discussing with your son and his girlfriend. Your son would need to hear from the psychiatrist that it is better to be open with his girlfriend re his condition.

honesty is paramount in any relationship and I am sure that your son would believe that too. He sounds lovely.

I dont know if any of that helps. Please know this, I feel for you and your son. I also feel such strong love. bonding between the two of you that most people in this world will never experience. Your son is a gift to this world and so is his beautiful mother who gave birth to him.

my heart goes out to you all and to all others in a similar situation.

please keep writing if it helps you

you are in a very safe place here.

One more thing are you a member of Carers Mental Health Australia. I hope so. If not look them up they have much to offer and you just make decisions yourself about which services, if any you choose to use.

I am off to hospital for a while on Tuesday, hopefully just a couple of weeks. I wont be able to respond whilst in there. I will look out for you when I return home. I will definitely be thinking of you and your son while I am in there. You have both given me some hope.

thanking you xxx

hello @Gemima @Appleblossom

I just had to say that you have heard from the lovely Appleblossom, who has much experience and wisdom.

Appleblossom, I saw this post and thought I dont know enough to respond, I did not want to leave Gemima without any response at all.

I found myself writing another storybook.

when I hit post , I saw your post. We were both responding at the same time. Another spiritual moment between us. We have had a few now.

love to you all xxx