My partner is tired of capitalism

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welcome to the forums @ipanda!!

it's hard seeing our loved ones struggle, but he's lucky to have a caring partner like you by his side. outta curiousity, has your partner felt this overwhelmed in other roles too? sounds like his current role has really be draining him hey.

when i've felt overwhelmed in a role, i spent a lot of my free time just watching tv shows because that was the one thing that brought me comfort and was easy to do. even though i wanted to do more, i remember feeling too emotionally exhausted to start other things. i wonder if that's similar for him, maybe sticking to reddit is all he has the energy for at the moment?

does your partner do any physical activities regularly? whether its walking, gym, sport, etc.? i found that movement really helped with gaining for energy/motivation as well as releasing my stress.

also wondering, is he open to doing activities with you? would working on something together (whether its a home project, or painting for fun at home, etc)?

the things i've shared are based on my own experience with depression and burn-out, and it might be quite different from your partners. but i hope something in this post helps! i also hope you're doing okay and taking care of yourself too 💙

Thank you so much for replying @Former-Member

He does have friends, every other week he goes to play with them.

He does want to learn how to DIY projects, he grow up without a father so he doesn’t know how to even use a screwdriver. But this kind course is expensive to do it in person. He doesn’t want to learn online, we don’t have any tools as well.

As he is the only one working at the moment we are in a tight budget.

I did asked him to volunteer with me, learn AUSLAN with me, but he doesn’t want it.

I just don’t know what to do, he says he is fine but I don’t know.

Thank you for your kind words, he is a good partner. I had a really tough time, I got real bad depression and he supported me a lot, I just want to do the same for him.

Hey @ipanda have you or your partner ever heard of Men's Shed? Could be a great option for him to learn those DIY skills and it can also be a lovely form of support. Rather than needing to own the tools he can go to your local Men's Shed and use theirs and learn new skills.

Oh and a quick tip, to make sure others see your responses you can tag them by pressing the "@" button and then choosing the username from the list that pops up. You'll know it's worked when it shows up in blue like @rav3n

i hear you, exercise was a really hard one for me to get consistent with, it was only last year that i built a routine @ipanda
my friend and i joined a gym together and we treated ourselves to a drink/snack after the workout as a reward. over time, we no longer needed the rewards as much and we actually enjoyed working out.

i'd say starting small helps heaps - e.g. going for a walk for 5 mins once a week, then increasing the frequency and time slowly. even if it's walking around the house for 5 mins. since i loved tv show, i used that as a motivator too (being able to watch my show while using the treadmill) so if there audiobooks/music/movies, etc., that you like, you can use that as a motivator too.

every small step counts 😊

Hi @ipanda you are an amazing partner!

Do you have a Bunnings nearby? They run diy sessions that may be useful for him.

Have you thought of planning a short holiday together? Something to look forward to and a reason to work can really help. I worked in a toxic environment once and I booked a trip to Spain so every day instead of “just going to work” I was preparing to “go to Spain”. It worked wonders and you don’t have to go that far, just somewhere close might work.

All the best ❤️

Hi @ipanda . 🙂

I might be misreading things here but it sounds like neither of you have much enthusiasm for the prospect of your partner being unemployed; both because of the financial problems, and also because it doesn't sound like your partner has any real desire for anything about unemployment. It sounds like it's more a case of him being repulsed by his currant work life rather then being attracted to any aspect of unemployment, if that makes sense?

Have you thought about options that might allow him to still have a job, but with whatever problems he currantly has with his job being removed from the equation?

It sounds like one of his main grievances is that he doesn't like corporate culture. (I can sympathize!) Is there any way he could transfer to a differant job that isn't governed by corporate culture? Perhaps to some small-scale workplace where it's more like a bunch of mates knocking around together rather then a formal, rigid corporate environment filled with nothing but grey, dispassionate coworkers, rather then friends?

I can also relate to his reluctance to see a therapist for his woes. It's not a simple matter finding a therapist who can & will help you with work troubles. My therapist did nothing for my unemployment. As far as I know, she didn't even try to set me up with a job. But I've seen videos where other therapists talk about their efforts to get jobs for their patients, so it's hard to figure out exactly what's going on here. Nearest I can figure, some therapists will help relocate their patients into beneficial employment, but most don't.

I think that if your partner goes into therapy to get a better job, you'd be wise to confirm with the therapist that they will definitely do everything they can to transfer him to a more ideal job, and that they'll own up and discontinue the therapy as soon as they realize they aren't able, or aren't willing to help him with this.