I was never meant to exist.

Hey @Swissy and welcome to the SANE Forums!

Taking this active step towards seeking support and recovery is a tough one, so good on you for choosing to seek out safe and friendly forums rather than harmful ones (side note: we made a small edit to your post to remove mentions of which harmful forums they were).

No one is here to shame you for posting or being new - we are all new at some point on the forum 🌿

Feeling like a failure and that you were never meant to exist must be so heavy to sit with... You also share that you feel a lot of people hate you and are toxic towards you. Being around toxicity can really bring us down, and even though it's easier said than done, meeting new people who you bond with and who accept you for who you are will help you to create a less toxic friend circle.

Also, if you think about it, the chances of us existing is 1 in 400 trillion, so maybe we are meant to exist after all!

We appreciate you letting us and the community know that you have supports in place in case you need them. We hope that SANE becomes a valuable support for you as well 🌼

Take care tonight!

hey @Swissy,

thank you for sharing, and it's nice to e-meet you 😊

it sucks that you've been made to feel like you were 'never meant to exist'. sometimes the people we surround ourselves with can make us feel this way, but i really hope you know that you deserve to be here.

you are not a failure for struggling or having a hard time, it's very human of you. i know i struggle with that feeling too, and it's taken me some time to realise that we're all imperfect people who deserve the opportunity to heal and grow.

looking forward to connecting with you 💙

Hi @Swissy

How are you going? I realise its been a few days since you posted, and I've only just seen your post.

Im sorry that you feel you were never meant to exist. ☹️

Its OK if you dont want to answer, but I'm wondering whether this is because people have told you this, or because you feel you dont fit in, or because something has happened that feels too hard for you?

I for sure have had (and sometimes still do) feelings that I dont fit with this world - and especially our individualistic cultural setting - and that I wasn't made for this world (psychologically / neurologically). But I'm starting to realise I'm not alone in these thoughts -- culture and society pressure has a lot to answer for these days! A lot of people struggling to cope with it. 😢

Hey @Swissy ,

Wondering how you're doing?

Egh, feel that way sucks, eh? ☹️ @Swissy

Can I ask what thoughts specifically go through your mind currently? (Not methods, but reasons)

Is there anything that you enjoy doing on days when you feel a bit better (or in the past)? Hobbies?