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Thisisme84New Contributor
I've been self medicating and drinking daily [edited by moderator] to suppress something I can't change,
I justify my drinking daily [edited by moderator]. But it cant be healthy.
I have a husband and 3 small kids. I feel so sad and just want to cry but have to be strong.
In response to: Am I alone?
ShadowModModerator
Hi @Thisisme84, welcome to SANE Forums!
I hope that you find the forums a great place to connect with other members, share stories and ideas, and find the support and connection you deserve.
I'm sorry to hear of your past trauma. This is a lot for one person to endure, and I can understand how this has contributed to a complicated relationship with medications and alcohol. Knowing how to cope can be really difficult after experiencing a traumatic event, especially when you have your plate full as a mother and a partner. For some tips for coping with the effects of trauma, I invite you to take a look at this resource here. It offers some really great insight into some healthy ways to manage, and I hope you can find some of this information helpful. Please know this is something you don't have to deal with alone, and I encourage you to reach out to Blue Knot, 1800RESPECT, or Beyond Blue for some more tailored support.
It takes courage to share your experiences with the community, and you are being really brave reaching out to your peers. Let us know how we can best support you. We're here for you, and I'm sure your peers will have some insights to share with you soon!
Take care!
In response to: Am I alone?
SugarshackSenior Contributor
Hi @Thisisme84 it sounds like you are going through a very hard time and you have a lot on your plate. Has something happened to bring up so much of the past, have you EVER addressed what happened to you?
First up I would like to say to you, congratulations for being strong enough to reach out to the forum .It sounds like a lot of memories and thoughts/concepts are stirring round in your head about the act of abuse, the death of the person you mentioned - and the betrayal from your father who didn't believe you when it happened and then all that has added up to make you feel alone with noone to turn to when your mind is filled with overwhelming memories.
I wonder if you can open the door a little bit further by reaching out to specialised trauma informed counsellors such as 1800 RESPECT, Blue Knot Foundation, and others who specialise in sexual trauma including getting a Mental Health Care Plan from your GP. You might need to grab onto every single support or service when the floodgates open. BUT , you are not alone in this journey and it wasn't your fault. You were first abused and second abandoned by people supposed to protect, and third you now have PLENTY of challenges in your life, just caring for three kids and being in a partnership is bloody hard work.
The darkest hours are before dawn and it sounds like you have some dark hours at the moment. But, let the idea of healing dawn on you, because money or no money you deserve peace in your mind which will come over a very long time as you unpack every single layer of pain and trauma since way back when. But, you can and will get there. Perhaps RIGHT NOW, drinking is a crutch that helps you get through every day. But what if you could build new legs and throw away the crutch? You will be able do to that if you start a healing journey. And with three little ones depending on you, I hate to lecture you or potentially make you feel bad but that's an Olympic Effort in front of you as they grow up. If you start the healing journey now, you and your three kids will grow up together and have a loving relationship based on truth, honesty and strength, but I reckon if you keep drinking you will cut yourself off from the most beautiful creations of your lifetime.
My mum smoked a lot of pot to hide her pain, and her self loathing never let her be proud of us kids or accept our love for her. As her kid it took me 30 years to realise she didnt reject me because I was bad - she thought that she was so bad, she could never accept my love. And as a little kid my love was tears and snot and half dead flowers and full dead lizards but, families are the most beautiful thing in the world, far from perfect but it is truly a blessing to have people around who are such a huge part of life. Let yourself have a second chance at life, love yourself, let your kids love you in your pain and in your happiness too, and don't let the abuser win. Open the door to healing and give yourself a fighting chance to kick drinking away and let true happiness in.
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
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