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jrnSenior Contributor
Hi, don't know if anyone can offer anything, but my 14yo daughter is refusing to go back to school. She is enrolled and currently undergoing therapy. She is trying to force us to home school her, but that is not a possibility. Does anyone know anything about these sorts of situations?
In response to: Daughter won't go back to school
RovjaSenior Contributor
Also some forms of bullying are excluding and hateful vibes and other discreet stuff that cant be proven.
In response to: Daughter won't go back to school
tymeModerator
Totally @Rovja ! You couldn't be more correct!
In response to: Daughter won't go back to school
jrnSenior Contributor
@chibam
Hopefully. It's hard to know what is genuine and what is not from her at the moment. Hopefully a bit of therapy helps open the lines of communication a bit more. My wife and I would like to be more approachable as parents, but would also like our daughter to see the need to be open and honest, eventhough that isn't even on the radar of most teenagers. I told alot of lies to my parents growing up, but didn't think they were so damaging, I am starting to realise as a parent that they probably were.
In response to: Re: Daughter won't go back to school
chibamSenior Contributor
@jrn
Well, you can't afford to be honest with your parents, can you? They're not really on your side; they're on the side of the imaginery child they really wish they had. So their just trying to figure out the most effective way to control you, to get you to pantomime this character they dream of as accurately as possible.
Maybe this episode with this toxic companion of hers has served as a bit of a wake-up to her regarding relationship dynamics in terms of how we treat people in our lives, relative to the imaginary characters we want them to be, or presume them to be?
I know that in my early adulthood I got a pretty rude shock finding out that friends of mine we're the characters I'd always wanted/presumed them to be. I dearly loved those imaginary characters, but the real people were absolutely horrible.
The ordeal gave me a lot of insight into how we delude ourselves into seeing what we want to see when we look at someone, and then allowing our love for that mirage to delude us into thinking that we love the person, because we presume them to be one and the same.
It helped me a great deal to understand the behavior of my parents, who always claimed that they loved me, but never failed to lash out at me when I faltered in play-acting this imaginery character of theirs who definitely wasn't me. They've just never been willing to admit to themselves that the imaginery character and me are two very differant people.
Maybe your daughter's ordeal with this toxic figure has offered her similar enlightenment? Maybe learning that she wasn't seeing what was really there when she looked at this person has given her some understanding that you probably don't see what's really there when you look at her?
In response to: Re: Daughter won't go back to school
jrnSenior Contributor
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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