Feeling stressed

hi and welcome to the forums @Spiritmission6!!

i'm sorry to hear that your fathers speaks to you and your mum poorly, i imagine it's frustrating and exhausting having to put up with that. we're here to listen and support you 💙

you mentioned the possibility of dementia - is this something you've brought up with dad before?

@rav3n dads doesnt believe hes doing anything wrong by speaking this way

it's really frustrating when they don't see your point, hey. @Spiritmission6 i'm sorry you have to deal with that constantly. is there anyone that dad does listen too? would they be able to help change your dad's mind?

it really sucks when we can't control other people's actions/behaviours, but we can control ours. so please do look after yourself too. if his words are impacting, you have every right to step away from the conversation and protect yourself 💙

glad he's talking to a psych, hopefully that helps with the behaviour change - and maybe the psych might pick up on the potential dementia symptoms too.

@Spiritmission6 good on you for setting those boundaries and walking away. but i absolutely hear you, it still hurts. both my parents have said some harsh things, and even though i walked away from it, it does pop up in my mind every now and then. so i get that it sucks still, and i hope you're able to remind yourself that his words aren't the truth. 💙

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this at the moment @Spiritmission6 my dad is like that too (talking in a horrible), and he's been like this for a while - though he mainly does it to my mum, and sometimes he does it to me too. It's why I don't associate with him and I don't ever wish to. Ever since I've moved out, I feel so much better without having to deal with him and his negative energy/behaviour again.

He used to see a psychiatrist when I was really young, and he did take some medication that was prescribed before he completely weaned off of it I think about a decade ago.

I understand what you're going through right now, and I hope the psychologist your dad is seeing is helping him. 🫂

Me and my mum will be moving into a new place soon but his actions really impact my wellbeing. Sorry you had to deal with it also. Hopefully he wont follow us to the new house @Blackcloud

@rav3n for me, i think mine has to do with intergenerational trauma. my dad used to be a survivor at a war that happened in the 70s and i could see how much that severely impacted his long-term mental health issues and PTSD, and i guess thats how he became really sensitive ever since (he even gets sensitive over the smallest things). he's now in his 60s

and to this day, he still continues to watch documentaries/videos about the war

he migrated from cambodia to australia in the early 80s and im pretty sure that was around the time that he first saw a psychiatrist, or was it a lot later than that... (i'm just guessing) my dad doesn't feel comfortable sharing or talking about things that are related to mental health because he still thinks that talking about it is a taboo.

all i know is that when i was young, he went on medication for a while until he decided to completely wean off of it. even though being sensitive and negative is part of his behaviour, i can't stand the fact that he's always like this, especially if he's not willing to change it. he's just so toxic and problematic. just like how none of us can stand the fact that someone else is always there to put such negative and toxic energy and doesn't at least try to be positive

and so for me having such parents is part of why i'm also really sensitive.

but i wish i had better parents who would be willing to put more of a positive energy....