I think im doing the wrong thing

Hi there @Former-Member,

Thanks for sharing, it sounds like you are doing a really hard thing, which is trying to get your life on track and learning ways to cope that are helpful and also deal with your diagnoses, that is a lot to take on, so well done.

It sounds like your mother and siblings are firstly, not used to you not being available to them and expressing this as they are possibly aware it makes you feel guilty even though it's really important that you focus on yourself and what you need to take better care of yourself. Do you agree? Or is it pattern of behaviour that you are trying to shake and they will just have to get used to it?

Have you been able to explain to them that what you are doing is helping you and you feel as though they are making you feel guilty for that which is not helpful or why are they reacting that way when they can see it's a helpful thing you are doing?

You are definitely not horrible, that guilt you are feeling shows that you really care for them, but your priority should be looking after yourself, especially right now.

Lunar 🙂

i have just been diagnosed with 3 mental illnesses and chronic insomnia so its alot to take on. @Former-Member

yes im the one that runs the household as my mu works 6 days a week so ill have the kids a fair bit as well as being a carer that ive been doing for just over a year now. they are so use to me being there all the time so its a hard habit to break and i feel like i should be there 24/7 even if i cant/want be there.

my siblings are too young to deal with these and i wouldnt involve them anyway but ive told my mum to a certain extent as to whats going on and unfortuanatley she isnt really inerested so i just keep it to myself to deal with.

i feel really terrible if i cant be there all the time it makes me feel like im the worst big sister ever

Hi @Former-Member,

...awesome user/login name 🙂 sounds like things are tough for you at the moment and have heaps on your plate. tell me if im wrong, but the fact you feel terrible for not being there all the time gives me the impression you are a caring and kind person, definitely something I believe is valuable and to be proud of 🙂 it sounds like your an awesome sister who cares heaps

I understand it can be so difficult balancing our own personal needs and committments if we feel like we are expected to, or should, tke all the responsibility for caring for other family members, especially if there are no other options. Do you know if there are any other options available for you?

what did you mean when you wrote "to a certain extent"? maybe it would be worthwhile having another chat to your mum about your feelings?

thanks @NotLabelDefined

yes things are very tough at the moment

no not at them moment there is no other help at the moment

what i mean by to a certain extent is that i will tell her what she needs to know and i started off by telling her these diagnoses to start with and how bad they are and she still didnt seem very interested so i more just let her know when im heading to psychologist appointments etc but i dont really discuss anything after that as shes at work during the day anyway. ive tried to talk to her three times about it but it sees hes just really not interested in what im saying as she just says ok or uh huh like shes not really listening to me anyway

thanks for your reply @Former-Member,

considering there is no other help at the moment would you, and your siblings, feel comfortable getting some help from support workers who have expereince helping people in situations similar to what you and your family are expereincing?

it sounds like its difficult for you and your mum to have a deep and meaningful...again i totally understand and have been there before many times like yourself.

is there a time when your mum might not feel rushed and might have time to listen, or a regular time when you and your mum have a chance to sit down together?...that is if you might be willing to bring it back up with her again?

sometimes approaching a conversation from a differnt angle can be helpful...eg saying what you want to get out of the conversation from the very start, or beginning the conversation from her perspective, or the perspective of the other siblings?

thats awesome @Former-Member, glad to hear you have a plan in mind 🙂 and it sounds like a good one too 🙂

I hope it all works out for you tonight.

feel free to share how it goes 🙂 ild love to know (ps if i dont reply immediately i apologise, but im usually only on the forum a couple times a week)

hello @Former-Member @NotLabelDefined @Former-Member @Former-Member

Hello your name setmefree tells me about some of your inner turmoil

you sound as though you are a listener, a giver, empathiser, compassionate, carer

I am too and I have been told countless times to put myself first

not as easy as it sounds is it

I also suffer with long term major depression

however, despite symptoms of the depression my personality remains the same and this is true of you

if you are able to set aside the diagnosis you have received and just think of yourself as a person with caring, compassionate traits who simply needs their own personal space, some time of their own the statement becomes simple. Talk to your family in these terms that they will understand. Talk about you the person not the symptoms.

You are not your illness as a whole, you are still a person in your own right who has been diagnosed with symptoms of mental illness. This was not explained to me in this way for a long time. Now I find that looking at myself from this point of view enables me to feel much better about myself and yes I can be assertive calmly.

Good luck and believe in yourself, you have much to offer this world. Take care

Hello @Former-Member

forgot to mention type @ a dropdown box appears with all of the usernames who have posted a response to your thread.

if you type @ and the username of whomever you want to respond to they will receive a notification that you have replied to them.

This is a good way of keeping a conversation going with certain people with whom you feel comfortable.

hi @NotLabelDefined @Former-Member @Former-Member

thank you for your help guys

i started off by saying that i went to a psychiatrist today and she said uh huh without looking at me.

i was looking at my new medication that i got and the instructions as you do and i tried to show her and she has a sour look on her face and said ok.

what do you think that means?

maybe i should just keep it to myself and then their wont be arguments or anythign between us ?

thats another way to look at it @Former-Member i never really thought of it like that as i dont think im worth thinking about at all so really it probably wouldnt have crossed my mind anyway but thank you for your nice comments