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WhydoidoitCasual Contributor
I have BPD and PTSD. I struggle with my emotions and being able to believe that I am worthy of being loved. This causes massive issues in my relationship. I think that the world is out to get me all the time and my partner cops it all the time. He eventually cracks and says the most awful things to me that then circle in my head over and over again. I feel like I don't know how to be normal.
In response to: I'm not coping
tymeModerator
Hey @Whydoidoit ,
Thank you for sharing. It sounds incredibly hard to sit with these uncomfortable thoughts for so long.
I can totally relate to this rumination.
You mentioned you don't know how to be 'normal'. Are you able to clarify what you mean by 'normal'? What does this normal look like to you?
In response to: Re: I'm not coping
WhydoidoitCasual Contributor
@tyme I don't know how to let little things slide. I don't know how to be happy. We got engaged on Saturday and I was/am ecstatic about it. Hes the love of my life but today I just can't help taking everything personally and being in a bad mood. Now he's saying that I ruined it and that he doesn't even know if he wants to be engaged to me. I know I should have nothing to worry about of be sad about but I get into my head and I can't get out. I then say horrible horrible things and he will eventually say horrible things in return.
In response to: I'm not coping
Stuart9726Senior Contributor
I hear you. I also live with PTSD, anxiety, and that constant cycle of overthinking, so I really get what you mean when you say it feels like the world is against you. It’s exhausting to fight your own head every day, and it can make even the people we love feel like they’re carrying the weight of it too.
Something I’ve had to remind myself of (and still do, most days) is that struggling with emotions doesn’t make me unworthy of love — it just makes me human. The fact that you’re aware of how this impacts your relationship shows a lot of self-awareness and strength, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now.
You’re not broken and you’re not alone in this. “Normal” is different for everyone — you don’t have to measure yourself against anyone else’s standard. It’s okay to take it one step at a time and give yourself credit for the fact that you’re here, sharing honestly about how hard it feels. That takes courage.
A few things that sometimes help me (maybe they could help you too):
Grounding yourself in the present — when my head spins, I use simple things like the 5-4-3-2-1 method (name 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, 1 you can taste). It pulls me out of the spiral a little.
Journaling — writing out the storm of thoughts in my head helps get them out of the loop. Even if I rip it up afterwards, it breaks the cycle.
Reminding myself I’m worthy — PTSD makes us feel unworthy of love, but the truth is, the very fact you’re aware and trying means you are worthy. Your partner choosing to be there shows that too.
You don’t have to “be normal.” You just need to be kind to yourself in the middle of all this. You’re already showing strength by speaking up here.
In response to: Re: I'm not coping
tymeModerator
I have BPD and PTSD too. @Whydoidoit It took a long time for me to get to the point of being satisfied with life. It was not necessarily about needing to be 'happy', but that I had the tools to tackle the challenges of life.
I'm mindful that it's totally okay that life is not always 'happy'.
And with BPD, I felt a sense of emptiness and loss within me.
What supports do you have at the moment to help you work through some of these feelings?
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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