I dont feel like i exist right now

Thank you for sharing @The-red-centaur . It sounds like you are working through a fair bit at the moment.

Do you have someone you can talk to? Or do you prefer to just sit with these throughts as a way to process them?

@tyme i think i just needed to sit with it and express it, ease the pressure a little.

I have been keeping a lot inside lately. Finding it hard to put words to my thoughts and feelings, and I've no one in my offline life i can really talk about this or really anything for that matter

@The-red-centaur

Hiding, bottling-up and suppressing your bad feelings, can be similar to ignoring a bad physical wound and letting it become infected. It sounds like it would be good to help yourself heal from the grief and blaming you are going through suffering an injury, and possible much more yet.

It also sounds to me like you need a lot of love, care, kindness, and a sympathetic ear which understands you enough to give you the direction and tools you need to process all these suppressed feelings.

Please do not let all the 'bad' inside explode, (that is what happened to me, and i made a mess of it,) for you are clearly not coping or dealing with your emotions at this moment in time. This might be why you feel so numb for you deny yourself to feel what you feel. So this is where you need support and help big time to change that before things run out of hand and you loose control.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxANRMspilI&list=RDMMY4tHEwWLMJM&index=28

Hi @The-red-centaur

It's great you can identify that being able to sit with and express the feelings is helpful for you - and that this helps to ease the pressure a little. Putting words to our thoughts and feelings isn't always easy hey - you've done well to open up here 🌿

I'm also hearing that you don't really have any one in person you can talk to - is that something you'd like support from the community with - to help you find some further in person supports?

TunedIn 🎶

@The-red-centaur You are not alone I too also feel like I don't exist walking through this life invisible knowing I will never matter

@The-red-centaur

I am sitting with you in this tough time.

It sounds as though you are going through a very mentally challenging time.

You will get to the other side if you just hang on.

It's not going to be easy, I cannot promise you that, but it will be worth it.

You will feel the sun shining on your face again.

@Oaktree @Rhymster @TunedIn @DownMoreThanUp

Thank you for the replies.

I feel like I'm in a dense brain fog. And that nothing i see or feel is real. Im not sure why I feel so detached and non-existent.

I cant think. I cant focus. Its like the colour has drained from my world.

Today I let it overwhelm me and spent all day lying in my bed. Im trying to sit outside right now before the rest of the day fades. The air is cool. The neighbours kids are playing outside. However it feels as if I am not here, like theres huge a void between myself and my surroundings, somehow I feel tears in my eyes but no clue to how or why they are here.

Amyways, im not sure why I'm typing this. Does it even matter. Hmm

@The-red-centaur It truly sounds like you are going through an awful time. i think i have been where you are now. When the light of day has left us and we cannot experience good in life no more leaving us behind feeling bereft.

The good news is you can heal from this mental state. Please give yourself lots of exposure to love, care and compassion, also from yourself. For it sure looks like you could use that.🤗

Wishing much love and strength getting though this time.

@The-red-centaur @ I know all to well the feeling of not existing. I had a situation today where all others were spoken with and nobody came to speak with Me so I left. If not for this group I would spend my days communicating with nobody. Know we are here to support you mate. Thank you for sharing how you are feeling please know you are not alone

Thinking of you @The-red-centaur