SadseniorCasual Contributor
When is enough enough?
As a senior with grown children, I guess I have a lot of time on my hands to”think” too much.
I was the older child of two, raised by two parents during the 50’s & 60’s, in what was relatively common in those days, an authoritative manner…..eg: as long as you are under my roof you will do as I say. Even as a 21 year old, in a committed relationship with a serviceman, we had the opportunity to marry and take up a very well paid posting overseas. The response from my mother was…..you can get married but you’re not going overseas! Nothing more to be said on that subject. That was the strictness of her parenting.
My boyfriend left the services and we married not long after. All good for several years……eventually we fulfilled my mum’s dream and made her a grandmother. As a grandmother, I couldn’t really fault her, always willing to help and babysit. Only issue was that my children were all perfect and any indiscretion must have been because I didn’t handle things properly.
Fast forward, by now we have 3 children and I swore I would never treat my daughter the same way……I encouraged her to try anything she wanted to……go to study in the country, pursue opportunities wherever they may be. My big mistake was probably not setting enough boundaries and trying to be a friend.
Since teen years there has been a complete lack of respect…….taking things from our room, resulting on us having to put locks on the doors. She lived most of her late teenage and early twenties either interstate or overseas.
To describe our relationship as like a roller coaster gives you some idea……we would go from besties, enjoying laugh, etc to all out face to face arguments where I might be ordered out of her house or hung up on to even the odd slap.
She married and has subsequently had 3 of her own children, who I absolutely adore. However, any relationship has to be totally on her terms and God help me if I don’t agree with her, oftentimes, unreasonable thoughts.
I may not hear from her for a while……but then the phone will ring…..hey Mum would you or Dad be able to do this for me. Which we always do…..but not anymore.
Just writing the above has cleared my head…….so to those that may read my post, I apologise for the “waffle”……however, I would welcome responses. Am I wrong or should I have put my foot down years ago? SS
