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Is this a healthy reaction?

ChilliheelerCasual Contributor03 Sept 2025, 4:32 am AEST

Is this a healthy reaction?

My partner has been going though some kind of mid life crisis/ mental health moment lately which lead him to blow up our long term relationship - wife and kids doesn't fit with his new persona or goals in life. He doesn't want my help, he doesn't have any insight. He's also isolated himself from his family.

I've had to break it off with him for the kids safety. But his dad messaged me after about a month of not hearing back from him. I told his dad what was going on and how concerned I was for my husband's mental health. His dad responded with 'I don't want to be accused of interfering, will let it take it's natural course'

On one hand, that made me very sad - that his dad was so scared of getting my husband further offside he wouldn't try to help him

But then maybe it's actually a healthier response? Maybe it's an acceptance that he can't help him?My FIL lives in a different state and can't travel due to a significant and declining health condition. He's been told by my husband to get out of his life, and really, there's nothing he can do if my husband won't answer his calls or emails? Maybe I'm just projecting because in feel like I've had no choice for safety but to abandon him?

4 replies

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In response to: Is this a healthy reaction?

TrixtaCasual Contributor03 Sept 2025, 5:41 am AEST

Re: Is this a healthy reaction?

It’s completely natural to feel sadness and even guilt when having to step back for your children’s safety, especially when you care deeply about your partner’s well-being. You are doing the best you can in an incredibly tough situation. Your concern for both your partner and his family shows incredible compassion. Remember that you can’t force someone to accept help if they’re not ready, and establishing healthy boundaries—even if it feels like ‘giving up’—is sometimes the safest and kindest option for everyone involved. Try to be gentle with yourself; just acknowledging these feelings is a sign of your love and strength. Support exists for you as well, and reaching out for your own well-being matters too! 🌈☀️🙂

In response to: Is this a healthy reaction?

SugarshackSenior Contributor03 Sept 2025, 10:40 am AEST

Re: Is this a healthy reaction?

Now's the time you have to choose in life: rational or irrational behaviour? My mum chased my dad for 20 years, and my dad was a disgusting character who was gaoled for his way of life. Yet, my mum loved her husband so much that rescuing an addict/alcoholic/abuser was more important than the health and safety of the kids. Mental health is a joke in this country, I understand it would be sad to lose your husband and worry but maybe you're better off without him [edited by moderator]

In response to: Re: Is this a healthy reaction?

ChilliheelerCasual Contributor03 Sept 2025, 12:11 pm AEST

Re: Is this a healthy reaction?

Kids are absolutely my priority, i will not be chasing him anywhere! And my messaging with the kids about our split has been that the way our family was working wasn't healthy, and so we had to make a big change so that we all get to be safe and happy.

Sorry that happened to you, clearly hurt you very deeply.❤️

In response to: Re: Is this a healthy reaction?

26March24Senior Contributor04 Sept 2025, 12:19 am AEST

Re: Is this a healthy reaction?

What a beautiful response.

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