@Chasingsunsets Good Morning how has life been treating since last? It is raining her and i heard thunder just before. We needed some rain so not complaining.
@MissGremlin @PeppyPatti @Dimity @Meowmy
Yesterday mood wise was really good. A few nausea bouts but not that many. We did hike more than 4km over a medium difficult sand track including some inclines. Only a few weeks back i could hardly feed the Geese 25 meters from the house, that is how unwell, asthmatic and exhausted i was then. So it was good to see i did so well.
My mood is good today as well, and what is even far more significant my wife and me addressed some really core issues between us yesterday afternoon. For my wife was still upset about Saturday afternoon, for she had completely misunderstood what i had said to her, and her anger was completely out of perspective and very unfair on me.
And to my amazement my wife share her feelings/anger with me, and i held my hurt, anger and rage all the time she hammered me . now just my wife acknowledging to me her feelings - IS a major Victory to me. For apart of when she is triggered and she dumps her bad feelings in a bad way, my wife does not share her feelings with me (or anyone).
It has been one of my main struggles with her over the years that followed my break down all these years ago. Her silence and my constant guess work where she might be at, with those crappy voices filling in when her moods are foul. So very much complicating our life together and have been the main triggers me trying to deal with her unspoken feelings when unwell.
Thank God she came around when i explained what i had really said on Saturday afternoon, and where and how she had misunderstood me, and how she again had made me the bad guy doing so when it hadn't even been true. She realised then how much that would have hurt me and we hugged the moment finding renewed connection on these issues.
For she realised it was NOT about winning an argument but finding connection both victims of my illness. Which is highly significant to me for a large part of my core issues is that it is always me who is the bad guy. For over the last 30 years everything that went wrong has always been my fault. For somehow i have not been a victim of my illness only her (and my family,) and every bad thing that has happened to us i had somehow done purposefully/maliciously/intentionally instead of illness driven.
What is even more significant i slept 7 hours last night over just two sleeps and i feel well again this morning. No anger, no welling feelings, no nausea, and no depression. To be honest this alone is spinning me, two good days in a row is in it self significant, after such an intensive afternoon yesterday it is even far more so. For the voices do not stop speaking after she left, yet she remained in contact, and did not again shut me out, so the voices did not gain any of the ground back we won back together yesterday.
i hope your day will also be good.👋
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtcBNdIq1ms
